life in a jungle

a little bit of symphony

2011-02-27T22:46:00.004+11:00

One thing to celebrate is I'm back in Melbourne! It's a strange kind of independence that I treasure when I'm here. In Malaysia, I feel like I'll never be found should I get lost.

I always find it strange that each time I fly back to Melbourne, I've got to kind of put my life back in motion. It's almost like everything comes to a halt when I leave. So, at the moment I'm starting my life again. Trying to let people know that I'm back.

__________________________________________________________________

It's now the end of April. I've finished one rotation and am on my next one. Had my first consultant crush. And certain things are coming to place.

Updates:

1) I've settled my elective! I'm now going to Kapsowar, Kenya with Africa Inland Mission (AIM). It may not be what I expected last year but I'm definitely no less excited to be there. I believe God will move greatly through me there and lives will be renewed in Christ, even mine. I have no idea what to expect. Some days, when I think about how dangerous it is to be travelling alone there and how lonely I might be, I'm a little uncertain as to whether I'll be alright. Then, I remember that God has called me there and so, as long as I'm in His will, by His protection, grace and love, I will be fine.

It's extremely hard to explain to people exactly why I'm going there. The truth is it's because that's where God wants. My passion for that place isn't terribly strong like Rosalie and her friends. I may not be able to get the rotations that I want. To top it off, I'm unsure what awaits me. But I do want to see how Jesus works in a real hospital as hospitals here seem to repel any talk about Jesus. People always believe that telling you about the Jesus I'm in love with means that I'm trying to convert you but it's ok if I talk about my new guitar that I'm in love with or this movie I just watched. I see no difference between the two. I guess, there is supernatural power whenever we, through the Holy Spirit, share about Jesus that other people sense. Perhaps that's why they don't wish to hear it.

2) I'm jobless! I have been trying to get a job tutoring and failing. for the nth time. Everyone rejects me for different reasons. I guess it's now time to get off my bum and apply for a work permit. Then maybe a casual job may come my way. Someone once asked me why I needed a job. Well, it's because I've got plans that require a lot of money and I have decided to not use my parents' money. I am the kind of person who doesn't like to solely rely on other people and I like to test my limits. I mean, if I have hands and feet, don't you think I could go out there and get a job? Plus, I would like to how far I could go to fund my own plans. I'm growing up :)

3) Running is my new thing. Well, sort of. I'm joining Mother's Day Run next week. Imagine me who can't even run 4k without panting and stopping, try to run 8k. It'll definitely be a challenge but I've been training. Have only done up to 6k with plenty of breaks. Hopefully by the end of this week, I'll be there, running the 8k smoothly.

4) I'm also currently applying for an intern position here and it's driving me crazy. I am subconsciously very worried that I actually won't get a job next year. How do I know? Well, I'm spending money like I have plenty and eating a lot. I've not done too much research on it. I know when the application dates are and when the Open Days are. I've kind of written a first draft for my resume but that's it. I should get off my bum and start doing something, shouldn't I?

5) There are days I feel extremely insecure. I'm always anticipating the worst. Maybe it's time to stop anticipating and live in the moment. I will change the things I can change and accept/move on from the things I can't. Life has more to offer than I realise.

7) Fasting through this period is a hard thing. Try going through TV withdrawal and you'll understand what I mean. I have limited myself to only watching movies. I have so much free time to do the things I need to but I would sit around and crave to watch TV. Lol, hopefully my new guitar and lots of prayer will help me through this.

It's a crazy one this year, and as we're coming to the middle of it, let's hope it makes more sense than it did in the beginning. Till next time, god bless.

Piling the pounds

2010-12-10T19:28:00.013+11:00

It's been such a long time. The battle of exams is over and I PASSED! That makes me feel two things: ecstatic because I don't have to sit supps and scared because I can't see clearly what the future holds for me.

The fear of what lies ahead plagues me as my return to KL comes closed. It truly is frustrating when God just gives me an instruction card and nothing else. "Stay in Australia". No reasoning or further guidance. I can only speculate the why and what's next. Yet, all the possible scenarios in my mind doesn't make it easier. Believing that I have more support than I realise doesn't allay my anxiety. Perhaps it's the past that I'm afraid of, not the future.

My sister wrote this on her blog: "It's like toeing the water after you've almost drowned in the pool. It's a lonely feeling, for sure." Don't know what she was referring to but it strangely describes how I feel.

I'm not good at writing what I feel or making sense. So, whatever. I'll just meet up with Naptime for a bit. Maybe he'll help me feel better.

Live. Laugh. Love

2010-11-01T10:14:00.003+11:00

This year's coming to an end with exams. It's been fun, frustrating and fantastic all in one go. But you know what? It's going to be better.

1) I believe I'm definitely going to Korea for my elective! SNUH here I come :)

2) I will get at least a distinction for my exams. It pisses me off when people blatantly insult me to my face when they are the reason I can't concentrate.

3) More exciting things are coming my way, I just know it!

So let the games begin!

I want nobody, nobody but you

2010-07-25T22:39:00.004+10:00

I believe that in the span of two days, i.e. this weekend, I have exhausted this song to its fullest in hopes of getting it out of my head. I have youtubed it (the cover by Janice and Sonia is amazing), downloaded it and sang it over and over again. I even made it my ringtone! Now, I believe, this thing is fading.

Just a quick update on my week. It's been a blast. I love hospital placements! BOO to community placements.

Highlights:

1. Absolutely exciting Monday morning with a patient wanting to jump off a two storey construction site in front of the hospital. As I watched the hospital staff try to negotiate and defuse the situation, it was almost as if my training in second year came back and I must say, although I believe negotiation through the phone and face-to-face may be different, I was appalled at certain things which were said. But I suppose, in the end, medicolegally, my ass wasn't on the line.

2. I got to see a lot of Ben, the hot intern. This week I'll be spending a WHOLE week with him. You'd bet I'm going to be there everyday. Days off? what rubbish!

3. The CLIPS team is definitely the best! I've had free vanilla chai lattes and enjoyed being Slobodan's last student on CLIPS. Got used to him opening and holding doors for me. What a drastic change from Sarvesh, I must say! It was most certainly a pleasant one, especially when he signed almost all of my forms, which is now one thing less to worry about.

4. Studying this week has been most productive, which is probably the reason why I've not done much this weekend besides health economics and study group. I've been studying non-stop that it's crazy. Anxiety Disorders, Psychotherapies and Psychotic Disorders done! Also GP's ENT! I'm proud of me :).

Lowlights:

My car's battery died on me on Wednesday,which meant I couldn't go for lifegroup. Anyway, cutting a long story short, I had to call RACV twice because it died again at Li Ping's place. Ended up having to fork up $211 for a new battery. Oh, the pain! And I didn't go to Leena's party because of the drama. Dang!

Ok, now to bed and here's to another good week! Cheers and God bless xoxo

Poker face

2010-07-17T00:44:00.002+10:00

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/notes/rosalie-lui/above-all-else-guard-your-heart-for-it-is-the-wellspring-of-life/137243362972392

"Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life"

Proverbs 4:23

Rosalie, in her notes (link above), talked about guarding her heart for God. How interesting that it should come out at a time when I felt like my heart was running away from my brain. Having read that, it was like God reminded me that my heart's rightful place is with Him and no one else. Not even me. So, no matter how I try to please Him by curbing my heart myself, it won't work. The only person who is able to do so is Him. So, God, here's my heart for your safekeeping. Sorry, I took it back for a while.

On a better note, let me tell you about patients I have seen in psychiatry. Psych is seriously a fun place to be as the patients are very interesting in their own way. However, I must say, the working conditions and the people I have met there so far are not as I expected.

In the last two weeks, I have been following Sarvesh, a psych reg at Davey St. Within that period of time, I can count the number of patients I had seen in one hand. I have also been questioned as to whether:

1. I take afternoons off to go and have coffee with my boyfriend. God knows that there's no such person and I truly detest coffee.

2. I use my afternoons to get drunk at pubs or smoke marijuana. Do I seriously look like such a person?! I've got too much of a good girl look to even give people such an impression.

3. I use the hospital's internet to watch porn. Firstly, I don't. Secondly, it's practically impossible to be able to do so as the hospital bans practically everything on the internet. Lastly, should I do so, would I have let him walk in on me when I was using the computer in his room?!

I seriously do not get Sarvesh's humour. I hardly find it funny and I hope he gets the hint whenever I do my awkward laugh. If not, well he ain't my business no more. I'm not there any more, thank God. Was going to be bored out of my mind.

So, patient no.1 had onced claimed to be seeing and hearing ghosts in the ward. One night, the nurses heard howling sounds and decided to investigate it.They arrived at a door and found the source of the noise. When they opened it, they found the patient making howling noises. No wonder she hears ghosts, the poor thing.

Patient no. 2 has always find it difficult to do things as he is hunched and is slow in all his movements. During the week, he was having a discussion with part of the treating team and something they said must have upset him. He became agitated and angry and was swearing a lot. Realising that they weren't going to allay his frustration, he ran towards his room. Just as he was nearing his room, he stopped. Suddenly, he hunched his body and began to move at an extremely slow pace into his room. Hilarious. I believe, for a moment, he forgot his poker face.

Now, perhaps I should go and practice my poker face so that I would not be found out like these two. Anyway, this week was way better and more productive despite having less done. I feel proud of myself. I'm going to try my best to ace this :).

If anyone asks, I'll tell them we just grew apart

2010-07-09T21:13:00.002+10:00

Here I am again, unloading my thoughts.

(1) My head hurts. I believed I've inhaled enough of paint to have isocyanate poisoning this week. Some of my clothes are even smelling like paint. So, I've been giving myself days off. Either that or get addicted to paint.

(2) School's starting again. Haven't studied much. I suppose, I've done a lot more in a week than I did in a month of holidays. But then again, it's exactly what I tell Omphile: Four years crammed into four months. God, help me to pass.

(3) Back to Frankston. Feeling a little lonely again. Doesn't help when I'm hiding in my room and trying to concentrate on studying.

(4) 4th year dilemma. If I pass, I'll achieve something that I've never exactly done before, which is start something with a group of people and finish it together. Well, that's if I pass 5th year but 4th year is harder. One of my dreams at the moment is to graduate with good grades and stand proudly next to all my beloved friends. If I study hard, I'll get to do that. But on the other hand, as time goes by, I truly dread the day when my friends fly back to Malaysia. We'll be parting forever and to be honest, it's the first time I've had a group of such close friends. I'm also not confident I can find such a group again. If I ever do, it'll be with much effort and difficulty. Not cool

(5) Can I say that I'm struggling with my grades because I truly dislike being smart or whatever? And that whenever I do osces, I always fail to find the right words because such attention on me has never been good in the past. So, it's like I'm trying so hard to fight my past instead of trying to do my best for the exam. Tell me how to solve this please.

(6) If I say I'm not stress, don't believe it. I'm clenching my teeth subconsciously each night as I fall asleep. I'm beginning to fall back to my old habits. Talking to myself non-stop. Imagining that people from the past are invading the present and are aiming to hurt me again. I waste more time drowning in the what ifs than immersing myself in my studies to cope with the present. Can someone save me?

I'm going back to reality now. If there's confusion when you're reading this, please note that it's probably what I'm feeling too. I'm just typing whatever comes to mind. Now, amongst all these confusing thoughts, I shall shove notes on schizophrenia. Hope life's better for you.

rain and laughter

2010-06-10T17:11:00.002+10:00

I've seen dreams that move the mountains

Hope that doesn't ever end

Even when the sky is falling

I'll see miracles just happen

Silent prayers get answered

Broken hearts become brand new

That's what faith can do

- What faith can do by Kutless -

I've been learning how big and almighty is my God and how He loves me. Sitting here with my ugg boots (yes people, they ARE house slippers), trackies and jumper with the heater on and the rain falling outside makes me feel loved. I'm not someone who needs grand gestures. Not a person who asks for the moon or stars. Instead, I ask for faithfulness, for comfort in knowing that someone is always there and for love.

I just want to say this:

I love you, Jesus. I give it all to You. I will wait and believe in what You have for me. In all areas of my life. So please, show me what to do. Step by step. And help my unbelief. :) Amen

Take me to that place, Lord

Where there's nothing else but me and You

Longing for Your presence

I know that You're calling me to You

Here I stand

I long for Your embrace

Nothing else can ever Your place

"Fall in this place" by Planet Shakers

The past where we belong

2009-08-02T16:02:00.002+10:00

It's a wonder how I lost a little bit of myself in this period of time. Self-effacing. I never expected Dr Narayan to hit the sore spot so accurately. Everyone just says how I'm quiet and all things typical. But he did say that perhaps this will go away with maturity. Wonder when I'll ever reach there.

Ok, it's a lie if I said that his comment didn't bother me, especially when someone (stupid Richard) told me that it meant self-deprecating. But I do suppose that if I'm always self-effacing, I must be self-deprecating in some way and I don't feel good about it. I want to break away and be brave. Where was me?

The past week just made me totally frustrated. I hate being pushed aside like I don't matter or I don't mind anything but I don't dare to stand up. I wanted to scrub in for surgery but I didn't speak up. I wanted to say stop looking over my head and start giving me opportunities. But most of all I want to say stop...stop letting the past dictate my future.

What am I really afraid of?

On a better note, my car's here. Good ol' Dee, a 21 yo volvo. She's taken a liking to me and so far been alright. And I drove alone on Saturday. To the Glen and to church. I'm awesome and I can manage a big car as a new driver. Now I have to work on being punctual. Can no longer used those public transport excuses.

Drama mama

2009-05-24T00:07:00.003+10:00

Has it ever occurred to you that we humans have a tendency to be drawn to drama like a moth to fire? We watch soap operas, go to the movies, sit in front of the TV for hours watching all kinds of drama in every language that we know or those with subtitles, wiling away the time. Inevitably, we get burnt by all the drama we try to recreate in our lives from what we've watched.

My main question is why. It seems like whenever something bad ends in our lives, we look for another. We get ourselves into horrible situations that we can't handle and we tell the whole world about it. We ensure that there's always something to mope about or something that we can complain/gossip. Our listeners hold to our words attentively and then repeats that process in their lives. All in all, in one way or another, we create this cycle of constant drama.

Perhaps it is because we're all ungrateful people - people who forgets everything once the bad times are over and knowingly land ourselves into a similar situation again. Or maybe we crave an exciting life, one which we can retell with tears, regrets and courageous moments. It could also be that we strive to test the boundaries of life, whether it is the ability to move on despite having our hearts broken all the time or our capability of living the rumoured great life at the age of 45 after spending years in a good life.

Some may argue that we don't willingly step ourselves into such situations. Life just happens to be that way. However,I beg to differ. True enough, there are things in life which are out of our control but not everything is. Sometimes, it is our stubborn efforts to not give in and fight for the things we like rather than the things we deserve. Sometimes, it's just simply choosing to forget how grateful we should be that we're surrounded by people we love who return that love a hundred fold.

I write this with a sad heart. Some people I know have chosen paths which will bring much pain and regret to their lives. I've been down that road and I know what awaits. Here I thank God for bringing me to my senses a long time ago before things went too out of hand. I thank God that He's always with me even as I live through the consequences of my actions years after I've left that path. On the other hand, here I do want to pray that God will bring these people back to walk the path He's created for them instead of trudging along their own way. I'll pray that He's open and soften their hearts to Him. I also pray for protection and that they may be surrounded by friends who love God and are willing to invest in their lives.

And God, I know, will direct the drama of our lives that it may be as His will so chooses. Amen.

all bottled up inside

2008-12-06T02:49:00.003+11:00

When I act like I'm strong, is that all you can see?
Not the hurt, the cracks that's showing on me?
It's like a drama that we act
Yours is to pretend that I'm all that
Mine is to keep myself intact.
Whenever a little chip of me falls out,
The temper cut loose,
Your reality of me wavers a little
You apologise
Your words reflecting your heart
That has always ever seen me just in part
My dear, when will you wake up?
And stop this dream that you're dreaming?
Will you just leave me here
Forever to believe
That no matter how much I wait for you to see
The scars inside of me
You'll never pull through and be
There whenever I need

i am not me

2008-06-05T22:31:00.002+10:00

After embracing God's love for me, many things have opened up. I've now found a new accountability partner, Sarah :). I'm really excited. She's a new Christian who's really falling in love with Jesus everytime and it's gonna be great seeing things through her eyes.

When people mention dates with Jesus, it never really makes sense to me. Like how do you go on a date with someone you cannot see? To spend time with a person without words? And so God teaches me about silence. It is in the silence where He reveals Himself. Mother Teresa once said that she enjoys being with God. When people ask her what He says, she replied "nothing." And then they ask her what she says. She replied, "Nothing." It's being with Him, knowing He's there and enjoying His presence that counts.

Guess what? I'm beginning to understand that. Sometimes when I walk home from the bus stop, I think of Him. And suddenly it feels like He's right there, walking beside me. And we spend time just walking together. But this atmosphere of silence in which I spend time with Him is really hard to create. My mind flies everywhere. However, now that I've experienced a glimpse of it, I'm beginning to learn to be still. Perhaps that was what He meant when He spoke Psalms 46:10a to me - "Be still, and know that I am God..."

I still wonder at times how He could love me. I just sinned. Didn't mean to but the temptation came and I gave way. The next thing I know I feel that I'm revolting. Seriously. Lord Jesus I ask for Your forgiveness. I know You gave me warnings and a way out, yet I still fail to heed Your words. It is true that it's by Your grace that you let me come and talk to You. It's not that I'm worthy. I thank you Jesus for all the Love that You have shown to Me. You know all the times where I'm not the person I portray, not the person people see. Yet, You love me with all my flaws and failures. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the romance You offer me. I just want to ask again for Your forgiveness once again. Thank you, Jesus.

The Romance

2008-05-06T23:12:00.005+10:00

Hey everyone!! it's been ages, hasn't it? I was reading some of my old posts and I reckon I'm not that bad of a blogger. To me, that is :).

Well, yes, to the topic of love. Why am I writing this? Because it's been coming up. Ever been through something so painful that you'd forget? In med, it's called motivational forgetting, aka repressing memories. I have. Two years worth of them in fact. And I think some others after that. The pain I've been through because of them makes me believe that some things are better forgotten. However, God has been saying to me this, "Give them to me. All your past, hurt, pain, unforgiveness, the good, bad, ugly, etc. Give them all to me and just rest in my love." It's been coming up. In Vive, Crossway aka Big Church and OCF. It's been all about love.

People say that relationship with God can be somewhat equated to a romance, though not fully. In a romantic relationship, the guy woos the girl. He buys her flowers. He whispers sweet nothings in her ear. He literally rejoices (as lil kat jensen says it, "ostriches"), sings and shouts for being able to love her. He wipes her tears. He plans surprises for her just to make her day special. He thinks of asking her whether he could hold her hand but ends up linking his hand with hers and holding it tight by the end of the night. He kisses her and reminds her of his love for her. To him, she's the apple of his eye. That is the same of God. It says in Zephaniah that God rejoices and sings because He loves us.

"For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty saviour.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With His love, He will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs."
~Zephaniah 3:17~

He also wipes our tears. He says, "Woman, don't cry." He holds our hand through life and guides as well as protects us through and from all harm. He also gives little surprises each day to rejuvenate our spirits because He knows our needs best. God has not bought us flowers but He made creation (the birds, trees, flowers and everything else in the world) for us to enjoy. He whispers to our ears sweet things like "You're beautiful because you're wonderfully made in My image" and "I love you". He thinks of us all the time. He thinks of you all the time. He thinks of me all the time.

But does it feel real? Is it truly possible? Yes, it is. However, do I love Him back like a girl who is in love? A girl in love seeks the company of him who she loves. She strives to please him by the things she does. She would talk to him into the wee hours of the night, trusting him to safeguard her love as she pours out her heart to him. She appreciates the comfortable silence in his presence. She desires to learn more about him each day and all that she knows is never enough, so she devotes her time to knowing him. She glows because she loves him and knows she receives his love in return. She rests secure in his love. Am I all these things and more for God?

I've always had trust issues. I never believed that there was such a romantic love for me. That no one would ever pursue me. If I opened my heart, all I would receive is hurt. The pain of the past has ebbed away all faith in people and yes, unfortunately, even faith in God. I do a lot of Christian stuff and people always ask me, "Grace, how do you do so much?". Honestly, I don't know. Perhaps I serve to find Him who loves me. Or that I read and do bible study in hopes that one day I'll believe in His love for me. Or maybe...just maybe, I want to understand what it means to be that woman in love.

So, with all that God is telling me and all that I'm going through, what's my conclusion? It is this: I choose to have such a romance with God. Just as He pursues me in His love, I will pursue Him in my love. I will devote my time to knowing Him as He devotes His time to know me. I will rest secure and rejoice in His love.

I am definitely not ready to date a guy. I don't think I can handle that yet. But should anyone ask whether I'm in a romantic relationship, here's what I will say:

I am seeing a great Guy. In fact, He's the most awesome guy I know and most of my friends know Him personally. I spend my time talking to Him and going on dates with Him. His surprises and gifts are the best. I may not get what I want all the time but He certainly is able to provide all that I need. Who is He? Well, He's a Jew and so His name is popular amongst the Jewish community. But He definitely goes by many other names. Yes, it's gonna sound a little cliche and expected but I'll still tell you His name anyway. This guy that I love so much...His name is Jesus. :)

So, now that you know I'm taken, you'd better find someone else :P. Till next time, God bless you.

"How I love you" by Planetshakers

Here I stand, before you my heart is still
Wanting just to be with you
Waiting here, I long for Your voice to speak
Touch me now, It's Your face I seek

How my soul longs for You
To be with You, adore You
Nothing more I want to do
Than to sing to You

Jesus, I'm in love with You
Speak to me, whisper Your words of Truth
Take my heart, won't You make me new
Jesus, how I love You
How I love You

On my knees, before You I lay my life
Giving all in living sacrifice
Take my life and all that I long to be
Set apart only for You my King

How my soul longs for You
To be with You, adore You
Nothing more I want to do
Than to sing to You

Jesus, I'm in love with you
Speak to me, whisper Your words of truth
Take my life, won't You make me new
Jesus, how I love You
How I love You

How my soul longs for You
How my soul longs for You
How my soul longs for You
How my soul longs for You

Just for laughs

2007-10-18T20:19:00.000+10:00

Found this on the vive young adults myspace and it was hilarious. Yup, it was done by ppl at Crossway. No, it's not funny because it's funny. No offense, it's only funny cos it's lame :). After seeing it, I went to advertise this to my sis, recommending her to watch it but it somehow went like this:

me: eh, li ern, you know today i saw this clip from youtube at the vive myspace which is quite funny. not the funny funny but lame funny. it's about household saving tips. drink water from bath tub, just mow the path that you are gonna walk, use the cut grass as salad...

li ern: hahaha...

me: what's so funny?

li ern: does the guy actually eat the grass salad? cos if he does, i'm so watching that!

so, folks, sit and enjoy. hope you'll like the show. :).

oh, and yes, i do think that long hair doesn't really suit harvey but hey, it's a free world...although i personally feel that all guys must go through some long hair phase (e.g. dreadlocks, side burns, long hair...)

Daddy mix-ups

2007-08-21T23:19:00.000+10:00

This may seem like a real silly question to ask but:

CAN YOU RECOGNISE YOUR OWN DADDY'S VOICE?

This is how inanely foolish I am.

me: *after going to toilet, enters the study. sees the receiver in the study not in its cradle and knowing that mum is talking to someone on the phone, decides to pick it up and join the convo, thinking that its dad.*

mum: why is there background noises on the phone?

me: hello daddy!

mum: huh? there's no daddy. it's aunty anita.

me: *stunned*oh... *answer sheepishly*hi aunty anita!

aunty anita: *still very lost* err...hello?

my sister was laughing at me for ages about this. and then this happened...

me: stop laughing!!

my sister: *still giggling*

me: i'm not gonna talk to the person who made me look like a fool!!

sis: *bursts out laughing* that means you're not gonna talk to yourself!! haha

Yup, this made my day.

THE JUNGLE TURNS A YEAR OLD!!

2007-08-16T14:34:00.000+10:00

It's definitely hard to believe that it's been a year since I've started blogging. And yes, although I only have around 45 posts (including this one), it's an amazing feat, one that has never been attempted before. Seriously. I've always tried to blog/ have a diary but I give up after a couple of entries. So this is my biggest achievement.

Looking back on all the posts, I have to say, I've had my share of funny crap (only to me, I know) and sad ones. I've never really cared who reads this to be honest. I don't update so practically everyone believes that my poor blog is dead. heh.

Well, let's get down to business, shall we?

Firstly, Wai Sing is well on his way to full recovery. He woke up about 5 days after the whole accident and is definitely alive and kicking. Trust me when I say he is well. Come on, any sick, unconscious person won't be complaining about boredom now would he? His complaints, as I've heard, is usually about how bored he is at the hospital. That's what he gets for scaring all of us. Good punishment I must say.

Enough about that moron. Now, I went to my rural placement like two weeks ago. Yes, I know I didn't update about it the week after because I've been busy and lazy. I actually have to participate in a group assignment which only amounts to 5% just to spend a week there. I'd rather stay at home thanks.

Where did I go? Warragul of course. Only about an hour's drive away from Melbourne city. Haha, not so ulu ok. It was definitely small. And hey, I was treated like a celebrity at the supermarket!! We were driven there to buy the necessities for the next five days. So Adilah, Li Ping, Ivie and I were walking around the aisles trying to look for the things on our mini "grocery shopping list". Every step we took, people were watching us. Watching, as in the move your head in the direction that he goes that kind of watching. It was uncomfortable and flattering in a way. Yes, I know I'm hungry for attention, so?

That night itself we went to the local cinema to watch the Simpsons movie. All I have to say about that is I slept through it. Shocker? I think not. Please, it's not that funny. Trust me, I've seen funnier stuff. And it's the kind of movie where you can only watch once. If you watch it again, the jokes just get old. So there's no way I would call soemthing like that a must watch.

Anyway, before the movie started, a few of us wanted a group picture as we didn't know whether we would be able to in the next 4 days. So, I approached the couple sitting in front of us and asked them whether they could take a photo for us. And you know what?! That girl, most probably younger than me, just turned around and replied sharply, "No, I don't want to." What crawled up her butt and died?! In the end, we just had to make do, with one of us out of the picture.

just for laughs

2007-07-10T14:20:00.000+10:00

I ate his grace with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Which movie was this quote from?

If you are a minority of one, the grace is the grace.

Which movie was this quote from?

But why is the grace gone?

Which movie was this quote from?

Nobody puts Grace in a corner.

Which movie was this quote from?

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world grace didn't exist.

Which movie was this quote from?

Perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its grace.

Which movie was this quote from?

I'm Grace! I'm Grace!

Which movie was this quote from?

Madness? This is Grace!

Which movie was this quote from?

I feel the need - the need for grace!

Which movie was this quote from?

You know the difference between you and me? I make grace look good.

Which movie was this quote from?

Wai Sing

2007-07-05T19:56:00.000+10:00

This post is dedicated to my Cempaka classmate and friend, Wai Sing. This dude got into an accident last night after losing control of his car. He had a head on collision and he's not doing too well at the moment. Not only is his lungs punctured but he's also bleeding into his brain. He was operated on this morning to remove a blood clot in his brain but the bleeding is still not controlled. His condition is very unstable and no one is able to visit him except for family I suppose. To be honest, I'm not very clear about the details of everything and only heard from Sofia about this just now.

I may not be close to this guy but he's still a friend. He'd told me stories about how the guys (being him and his friends) would rush into the taxi to get the back seat as all were paranoid about being molested by perverted old taxi drivers. We also trash talked the Asian food in Singapore and Australia, claiming that unsuccessful Malaysian food vendors went to Singapore to sell their stuff and when they failed to survive there, they come to Australia. No offense to Australians and Singaporeans. I also remember that one time in form 4, Kim and I were challenging Chin Aun and Wai Sing to say supercalifragilisticexpielidocious and the "peter piper" tongue twister.

So Wai Sing, my friend, stay strong!! We're all cheering you on from wherever we are. There are still reunions and crappy movie outings to go to. So, don't give up, if not you'll miss sleeping in movies like "phantom of the opera". I'm keeping you in my prayers, my friend, the maths freak =).

~all photos from here onwards are stolen from wai sing's friendster~

It is in times like this that we have to look to the grace and love of God for life is fragile and unpredictable. I ask all you readers to please pray for the recovery of Wai Sing and the support for his family and girlfriend (I've heard he has one, not that I've bothered to dig into his personal life) who are devastated at the moment.

Who am I that the Lord of all the Earth should care to know my name, should care to feel my hurt?... I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow; wave tossed in the ocean; whisper in the wind. Still You, hear me when I'm calling. Lord, you catch me when I'm falling and You taught me who I am. I am Yours.

~"Who Am I?" by Casting Crowns~

Rescue Me

2007-07-02T11:20:00.000+10:00

I just wanna praise God for bringing me out of this drought. Life has been dry and empty. When I went for the 'Beautiful Women' Conference by Planetshakers, I felt the rain but it was not enough to end the drought. However, after I came back from OCF Clayton's Winter Camp, I can now boldly say that my once-was-a-desert is now flooding!! Thank you Jesus!!

Now that Grace is back, she will rock your socks!! Unfortunately, she doesn't really have that many pics of the camp. Do sceneries count? And I saw 3 rainbows on Saturday!!

Ok, I know I'm going on and on about nothing. The main thing is that I wanna tell all you out there that I am once again refreshed and renewed!!

And I called,
You answered,
And You came to my rescue and I,
I wanna be where You are!!

Empty

2007-06-19T12:18:00.000+10:00

Have you ever felt it?
The emptiness within
Like you're there
But at the same time you're not

Round and round it goes
The same ol' routine
Day in, day out
Where's the spark?
Where's the excitement?
Can someone help me
Escape...

Out of your comfort zone
He calls
To where? I know not
Maybe this
Abraham feeling is an urge
To move
Have faith in Me

I just realised that I've abandoned my blog for like 2 months. But it feels good to write again. That's how I've been really feeling since then. All confused and lost. Empty would describe it perfectly. Insane as it may be, can someone please save me?

the language of anatomy

2007-04-18T17:42:00.000+10:00

well, due to the power shortage, I only had one lecture today. It was an introduction to anatomy and the relevant terminology. The lecturer was funny and to me, that made it sort of worth while going to uni just for an hour lecture.

Diagnosis: You have an idiopathic, idiosyncratic pyrexia. (oooo...sounds serious =O)

English: idiopathic = unknown cause
idiosyncratic = only you have it
pyrexia = fever/temperature

Meaning ---> You have a temperature. I don't know what caused it and only you have it.

You just gotta love Latin/Greek :).

I've been thinking about whether I should volunteer in the embrace-education program and tutor refugees studying Yr 12. Can anyone who has joined please give me an idea how it's like? visit their website: www.embrace-education.org

no uni today

2007-04-17T13:16:00.000+10:00

is that meant to be a celebration or a time to spend with God reflecting and praying?

Was it just coincidence that the electric power of Monash gone haywire or did God just know that I need this time to really grief?

Why am I hurting so bad when nothing has happened? Why do I feel like I've lost someone when the people I love are still here?

Am I still holding on to the past? I've grieved properly, haven't I? Wasn't I supposed to be happy that he's gone before me to a better place? A place called heaven?

All I'm hoping is that I get to see the faces of the people I love one last time before they go back to Him who created them. I didn't get to see him. The last time was last year during Chinese New Year. Then he went back to God September last year. No, I wasn't there for the funeral. I wasn't there for the memorial service even. The day he was to be cremated was the day I was sitting for my stupid Methods practice exams. Did I look like I was in the mood? NO!! I was trying so hard not to breakdown and cry. I was resisting the temptation to walk out the exam hall and find somewhere to hide.

Yes, I take these things really hard. It's because as long as I consider you my friend, as long as I have memories with you, you are precious. She's just going for ballooning, not like for surgery for her cancer like before. Yet, I worry and am afraid. What if God takes her back home? What if I wouldn't get to her face for the last time on this earth?

Oh Lord, I know that heaven is the better place that You created. The one country where Your children truly belong. Forgive me for losing sight of all that You are. You are Sovereign, Lord of all. Forgive me for I've never been good with separation despite knowing that I'll see those who have gone home someday. Thank you for reminding me that each day that I live is a gift from You, that everyday I should learn to love you more and live by the Spirit. I will not waste the time You've given me but always in prayer, live according to Your will. I love you.

Lectures cancelled and I went home early yesterday. It was awesome. I was busy thinking how was I gonna get home in time to finish my BSF. I had to take a Hep B injection yesterday as well. Now I guess, it'll have to be another time.

There was an insurmountable joy within me yesterday. No idea why but people kept asking me why I was so hyper/dramatic/happier than happy. I don't know why there was such joy or why I felt that way. But I do know that whenever I do spend a good quality time with God each morning, the joy is there wherever I go for God is the source of my joy. Sometimes I rush through my morning quiet time. Actually, I quite often rush through my quiet time as I am no morning person.

Oh, I forgot to mention that there was something wrong with the Monash Clayton Campus' electricity substation. Apparently something went wrong and the whole Campus had no electricity. Two staff went in to see what's wrong and ended up in the hospital. Hope they are ok.

I had to have a tute in the fresh, cold, open air. Sat until I almost couldn't feel my ankles. It was ok I guess. Nothing to really complain about XD. However, like most people, I hope they get the thing fixed soon because I do not want to have replacement classes or an extended semester.

That's all for the day!! Hope you have a good week back to uni. To all who are having mid-sems, ALL THE BEST AND MAY GOD HELP YOU REMEMBER ALL THAT YOU'VE STUDIED!! God bless everyone!

Snapshots

2007-04-09T22:19:00.000+10:00

HI EVERYONE!! I've been having an awesome holiday!! How about you? Hope you're enjoying your holidays too :).

I was giving out hot cross buns at church on Thursday and was supposed to usher in the morning but was there really late. So, it ended up that my sister and I just watched the performance and went home. Yes, we left without apologising to the person in charge. I do feel bad but I really didn't know who was in charge.

On Sunday, went to Aunty Jessie's for char kuay teow, penang style!! Can you guess why I went? hehe...I'm such a pig. Then today, I went to Mel's new place at Ashwood and met up with Lynn, Carolyn, Ashley, Jun, Vicky and Bethany as well. It was really fun taking retarded pics and everything. I miss "the good ol' days" now. I MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!

Now, for the pics, please enjoy!!

Med Transition Camp:

People waiting for the Giant Swing

Cath and I. Cath is in my Patient-Centered Learning tute (PCL).

Me XD

Nan (an incredibly nice 3rd yr who not only held everyone's name tags as we went for our turns on the giant swing but also took pics of me on the giant swing. She has now, up to date, been on the Giant Swing 4 times!)

Me being a retard! I hated the harness so much. They were really tight. Honest!!

Ouch, ouch, are you Done??!!!

Ok, the weather was shining when we were there. However, when it came to my turn, the weather suddenly turned grey. -_-!! It's just the giant swing. It's not like I was gonna die.

My roomies and I. L-R: Amirah, Sarah, Megan. me and Sian

Gatherings:
1. At Sofia's

Vicky

Melody

Carolyn being locked outside by accident

The guy behind her is staring at her being pissed. it says "Whoa, what is she so pissed about? Dude, it's just a door -_-!"

2. At Mel's new house in Ashwood

Ashley and Jun

Pucker up, Vicky!

Bing, Vicky and Jun...Mel's just being random

Lynn (what's she doing?), Bethany and Carolyn

Doesn't Lynn looks like she's being high by just digging her gold?

up close and personal with a gold digger!!

Jun's screaming and Lynn's laughing cos just moments ago, she was about to lick Jun's face

oh, what's this? let's take a closer look.

closer a bit more

an ass hole!! ahaha :P

Ashley (Ash-hole as Carolyn calls her) and I

Bing, me and my sis

Vicky looking cool by playing the drums

Is she trying to steal Mel's drum sticks?

Lynn, my sis and Bing

Rock-a-bye baby Carolyn

Melody and Vicky being homo

Vicky, the hunk, showing of her muscles

Is Ashley molesting Vicky? And doesn't Vicky look like she's enjoying it a lil too much to be holding Ash's hand at that place?!

oh cheh, it wasn't real!! :P

Enjoying the pics? I'm sorry about the paint...it's a bit ugly I know. I'm still amateur at this paint thing. Give me time and I'll get it right!! Hope you love the pics and my retarded friends cos I do!! Love you guys!! have a great week and God bless :).

Of Haikus and Op-shops

2007-04-05T12:05:00.000+10:00

O dear Nightingale,

the sound of the feather duster,

simply will not stop

- by Hijikata-san (from "Peace maker Kurogane" anime) who was in the middle of cleaning -

Yesterday, after uni (which ended at noon), Cheryl wanted to go op-shopping and I, who haven't gone into one to buy something before, decided to tag along to see what the hype is about. Despite all the waiting at bus stops (it took us hours to get there), we managed to get good stuff XD.

one piping hot colourfully striped jumper = $6.50

one a lil too big but really warm and in good condition jacket = $6.50

one TOMMY HILFIGER grey jumper in extremely good condition = $5.50

Total spent = $18.50

haha, be jealous of me!! cos I am now the proud owner of a secondhand tommy hilfiger jumper!! and it didn't even kill me to buy it *winks*.

Anyway, as Easter is coming up, Crossway is having productions at the following times:

Wednesday 6.30pm (yes I know it was yesterday)
Thursday 6.30pm
Friday 9am

I'll be there on Thursday, which is today, and Friday. So if you wanna come, just give me a call so that I can look out for you!! Let us remember this Easter the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ!! Blessed Easter!!

p/s: I've added the Thousand Foot Krutch song to my blog, so play it!!

Calling Out

2007-04-02T21:56:00.000+10:00

Here I am, supposed to be studying for my mid-semesters which I did for less than 2 hours. Tomorrow, I have a practice mid-semester exam at 8am. However, here I am blogging. Haha. Just felt like it. Blame it on the hormones!!

Anyway, just wanted to share with all of you a song that's really and meaningful at the moment to me at least. In the midst of everything, I guess this kinda is what I have been feeling but not to the full extend. My sister came upon it from Yu Li's blog and asked me to listen to it. Now, it's ringing in my head and I guess I might have to live through tomorrow with the words "This is a call, this is a call out" ringing in my head over and over again. -_-!!...BUT I guess it isn't such a bad song to have stuck in my head, is it?

- lyrics credited to lyricsbox.com -
This Is A Call
by Thousand Foot Krutch
album: Phenomenon

Verse 1
She fooled all of her friends,
Into thinking she’s so strong,
But she still sleeps with the light on,
And she acts like it’s all right on,
As she smiles again
And her mother lies there sick with cancer,
And her friends don’t understand her,
She’s a question without answers,
Who feels like falling apart

Pre-Chorus
She knows, she’s so much more than worthless,
But she needs to find her purpose,
She wonders what she, did to deserve this and...

Chorus
She’s calling out to You,
This is a call; this is a call out,
'Cause everytime I fall down,
I reach out to you
And I’m losing all control now,
And my hazard signs are all out,
I’m asking you, to show me what this life, is all about

Verse 2
And he tells everyone a story,
Because he thinks his life is boring,
And he fights, so you won’t ignore him,
Because that’s his biggest fear
And he cries, but you’ll rarely see him do it,
And he loves, but he’s scared to use it,
So he hides behind the music,
Cause he likes it that way

Pre-Chorus
And he knows, he‚s so much more than worthless,
He needs to find the surface,
'Cause he’s, starting to get nervous

Chorus
He’s calling out to You,
This is a call, this is a call out,
Everytime I fall down,
I reach out to you
And I’m losing all control now,
And my hazard signs are all out,
I’m asking you, to show me what this life, is all about.

Bridge
Have you ever felt this way before?
'Cause I don’t want to hide here anymore,
Take me to a place where nothing’s wrong, and,
Thanks for coming, shut the door.
And they say someone out there sees us,
Well if you’re real then save me Jesus,
'Cause I’ve been this way, for far too long,
I wasn’t meant, to feel alone

Chorus
Now I’m calling out to You,
This is a call, this is a call out,
'Cause everytime I fall down,
I reach out to you
And I’m losing all control now,
And my hazard signs are all out,
I’m asking you, to show me what this life, is all about
show me what this life, is all about (2 times)

Helpless

2007-03-31T23:54:00.001+10:00

Ever felt that you're the most useless person in the world? Sometimes you know from your gut feeling that your friends are going in the wrong direction but how do you tell them? Especially if it may cost your friendship? Am I brave enough to move on? Do I have the right words? Why do I stand and watch all the time and only regret when it's too late? How do I convey the feelings of pain and grief whenever I see them walking that path?

just

feel

lost

and

alone.

Can someone save me? and them too? I truly wanna help in practical ways but is praying that God would help them all I can do? I wish I knew. I can't help them and I'm in a ditch myself too. I need a way out, Lord. Show us a way out. To be free of the chains of sins which binds us. To believe that You, O Lord, are in control. Do not give us up to our sinful nature but save us. I promise as long as You're gonna help me, I'm gonna get myself out of this ditch. And then, I'll bring Your light to others and I won't give up. Not for mine, nor for theirs.

No, I won't give up

No, I won't break down

Sooner than it seems life turns around

And I will be strong

Even when it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark, I'll still believe

Someone's watching over me

- "Someone's watching over me" by Hillary Duff -

Enjoying myself

2007-03-13T19:10:00.000+11:00

I'm sure that it's common knowledge that I have been EXTREMELY lazy. ahaha. well, there goes my new yr's resolution. anyway, eversince my course started, I've been having nothing but fun!! sure there are some boring lectures/tutes, but hey, what's uni without them?!

I've already been on the transition camp and guess what?! I got to play on the giant swing!! it's like 20ft high and after having been properly harnessed and strapped to the swing, I'm pulled up to the highest point and then I have the choice of pulling the string or not. Well, I went up there feeling really geng and with the mentality it isn't that scary. However, when I reached the top, I started freaking out! I was like no way am I gonna pull that string and drop straight to the ground!! But fortunately, I did and screamed my head off while swinging. ahaha. IT WAS AWESOME!!

Then uni started and I've been enjoying some of my classes.

1. Med interview
we get to do roleplays and try to interview ppl who have to play the role of a patient with a this and this condition. So, it's really interesting especially when some ppl are such good and funny actors. once there was this guy who acted as a patient who was basically upset about her daughter who gave up med school for her bf. so he said, " Doctor, normally I'm fine but when I think about my daughter and her giving up med school, my headache comes on. However, when I think about her boyfriend, I feel like my whole body's aching." There were guys acting as couples and other stuff. you figure it out!

2. First Aid classes
As I haven't done any first aid thing before (even though I was a bulan sabit/red cross member on paper), I was really excited. Apparently, us first years face a tendency of being treated as doctors although our medical knowledge = zero. So, the first aid course is one of the ways for us to at least jaga air muka (have face) and be able to do something in an emergency. So far, we have learnt CPR, how to bandage ppl and other stuff. It was enjoyable to hear all stories of emergencies that happen. My tutor had actually placed the emergency book in her toilet and there was a period when her nephew was staying with her. Whenever he came out of the toilet, he'll be asking funny questions like "so if there was an emergency and I don't have the first aid kit with me, what do I do?" haha, looks like my family isn't the only one who does some reading in the toilet :P.

3. Stakeholder tutes
This is the time when someone from the community will come to talk to us about things related to whatever we were learning that week. So we get to hear stories from people with disability, people who had undergone natural birth although the baby had breech pregnancy and others. This week was about how caesarian section is overused in the birthing process, especially when breech presentation is involved (where the baby's bum/feet are facing the cervix instead of the head). I had a lady who had three pregnancies and in her last one, she had given birth to twins. one was normal and the other was a breech. She even brought a video of her giving birth!! It was exciting because she had water birth, i.e. she gave birth in a water tub. Amazing, ain't it?

4. Clinical skills
I have now learnt how to wash my hands. haha. We had to sing happy birthday (apparently the time taken to sing happy birthday is 15 secs) while scrubing our hands and the "hip, hip, hurray" part is where we wash our hands. I also got to wear the surgical gloves, coat, cap, and mask. haha. Next tute will be injections but that'll only be in slightly more than a month's time. However, it still is something to look forward to XD.

Well, this will be it for now. I would like to blog more cos there are other things that are bothering me but they don't exactly fit into the mood of this post. So, I'll post it next time. And I promise to have pics up too!! Happy April's Fool!! till next time, take care and God bless.

orientation and enrolment

2007-02-20T16:15:00.000+11:00

sorry for the late update. i've been on strike. i don't ever wanna actually have a google account to use blogger. but then, i can't blog if i don't have it. so, after MUCH consideration, i've actually submitted to the fact that i HAVE NO CHOICE but to get a google account.

so, i went for registration and enrolment on the 14th without knowing what to bring at all. (They sent everything to Malaysia -.-!) so i went there and tembak my way around, hoping that my not bringing anything will not cause too much inconvenience for others. fortunately, it did not.

while waiting in the incredibly long line to get things done, i saw Sally pass by. wasn't sure whether it was her at first but when i went to take a seat, i sat next to her, hoping it was Sally. And sure enough, it was her and her fashionable dressing. We all know how rare it is for Sally to not dress up *winks*.

anyway, it was long and tiring. they kept sending us from one block to another. only got to eat food at about 2 o'clock when i'm done with everything. the only thing good about it was that i got to know three people, Nisha (born in india but lived her whole life in Dubai), Dharini (from canada) and Damian (singapore). so i wasn't exactly alone to figure things out the whole day.

Today, I went to Medfest. well, it was really stupid of me really. the reason I was late cos I missed the first bus. I was at the bus stop waiting. when the bus came, i didn't see it and thus, didn't stand up. so the bus just drove by -.-!! had to wait another 15 minutes before the next bus came.

before i continue, i have a question to ask. if you saw a guy who was like the son of your mum whom you've seen in church often but never exactly talk to, what would you do? would you talk to him and get to know him? that was what happened to me. well, i would find it weird if i did that. so i pretended not to know that he was there and i think he did the same. haha :P.

so i went to sign a lot of crap (indemnities/insurance, etc). i don't think i know half of what i was signing for. all i know is that they are the same and free :). had a snow cone and a pizza with too many olives which i shared with megan. i met some plc ppl (megan, sally, janine and ivy). and i got to know kelly (brisbane), caroline (pentley? basically western suburbs), trisha (forgot where she's from), gina (taiwan), tasmeem (tasmania), natalie (essendon), katherine (local. haha, i forgot where she's from) and some other ppl who i don't really remember their names. there was this guy, michael, who was weirdly hanging around us girls. not weird but more like out of place cos like he's the only guy among us. didn't really get to know him.

yup, that's mainly what i did at medfest. going again on thursday to sign up for clubs and societies. this time, i hope i get to see mun yee and elisa *hint-hint*. tomorrow, my new friends and i are going to the city but i think that i will have more to do than just hanging out. still haven't been able to lodge my application for no apparent reason. am gonna call tomorrow morning or go personally to do it. so i'm sorry guys if i ditch you halfway. got to get these things done!!!

ok, till next time, god bless.

ammends

2007-02-06T11:28:00.000+11:00

ok, first i wanna say how sorry i am for like going all BLURGH without being the slightest bit rational. i truly apologise for the following things:

1. if i've offended anyone.
2. for sounding like i'm better than the rest of the world. (i found out a few days ago that most people who got into medicine have like 99.9. so i guess, i've no complaints)
3. and for being a total pain in the butt.

well, i'm sorry i went overboard. However, i do have good news :). I GOT INTO MEDICINE at Monash Uni, Clayton!!! yay! Praise God! Honestly, it's all His goodness and grace and not mine. You guys couldn't believe the timing. When I got the offer for pharmacy, my mum, seeing I was so dejected, suggested that I sent an e-mail requesting to be put on the waiting list for second offers. She helped me phrase my words.

After procrastinating for a long time, I finally decided to accept the Pharmacy offer. Afterall, it's His will be done, not mine. That morning itself on the 24th of Jan, I went to the bank with my parents to TT the money. After that, I went to my dad's office to fax the acceptance form over. Luckily, I decided to check my e-mail and the country level assessment before sending. It was then that I saw the e-mail

Hello Grace. I've been trying to contact you for the past few days but I couldn't reach you. Are you in Melbourne or overseas?...I would like to offer you MBBS (all phrased in my own words )

I couldn't believe my eyes. I went into like a panic. What do I do? I want to do medicine but what if He thinks it's not meant for me? why does He put it in my way after I've decided to accept pharmacy? man, my mind was going in circles. it always does whenever I get something from Him that I never deserve. Like when I got straight As for PMR. I just stared at the paper. I didn't trust my eyes. When my mum asked me what I got, I just passed her the paper. And she confirmed it. Straight As.

so, the situation was similar here. I was afraid. My mind wanted to be rational but my heart was screaming for medicine. so I e-mailed Lee and what she said gave me peace. like a confirmation. when God opens the door, just go in. And so I did. XD Now, I've got things to do.

1. get the acceptance letter in tomorrow and ensure that my TT didn't disappear.
2. get my visa done in the city.
3. enrolment and registration is on the 14th of Feb. (yea, i know. valentine's day. but as I have no bf, it doesn't matter.)
4. then my course commences with a camp at Phillip Island from 23th to 25th Feb.

now, as for pharmacy, it's HISTORY. ahaha. but I have to admit, I am scared cos most people will be way smarter and way more hardworking than I am. all the 99 and above people. Definitely intimidating. But hey, since I chose to walk into this door He's opened, I trust that He'll help me to cope.

so, till next time, God bless. oh yea, I will try to update each week ok. but i'm afraid sometimes it might just be some boring posts cos my life ain't that interesting. :P

tearing my hair out!!

2007-01-15T16:46:00.000+11:00

offers came out on the 9th. and till today i still haven't gotten the monah uni package. in a way, that's good. know why? cos they offered me PHARMACY.

so, everyone in the world knows that i want to do MEDICINE. and when i got my ENTER, i was worried but people kept telling me that i would most probably get it because they know so-and-so who got lower than i did and got into med. but do you people see?? there was actually a freaking reason why i was actually WORRIED!!! after all those false hopes given, i tried to believe.

however, the day came to check my offer and PHARMACY was what i got. so how are you people gonna compensate huh?!! and you know what?! recently, i've found out 2 very irritating, blood-boiling, just-damn-annoying news.

1. the government has taken a certain number of international placements for med from australian unis

does the government have any idea how few the placements are for medicine? do they know that it's not ONLY malaysians who are fighting for those spots? but of course, being THE GOVERNMENT, they would have known that already. however, they choose to overlook us, hard working non malay people who strive to fulfil our life purpose of becoming a doctor, and be generous to those "underprivileged" malays. i do apologise to those malays who ARE actually underpriviliged and are passionate about medicine. so with a fraction of international placements taken, we who are not deemed to be in whatever category the government says have to slaughter each other for placements.

2. those who do foundation courses of unis such as monash and melb can enter into med at way lower ENTER than what is required.

ok, that would be a common fact right? and apparently they lower the ENTER required for international students. so with my ENTER, i should get a placement for med. A friend of a friend of my mum has a son who did monash foundation. He got 95 and got into med whereas silly ol me who has been wasting 2 years of her life doing VCE and got a higher ENTER than he didn't get into med. not even monash. how unfair is that? hello? don't all unis want high achievers? i may not be that high of an achiever but hey, i'm not that bad either.

so yea, after talking to francis while writing this, i feel tonnes better. my humour even came back although the headache's still there. yes, i'm getting headaches because i lack sleep due to this thing (i don't even think it's a problem). so to all you out there who reads this, please pray for me ok. FERVENTLY, please. i would really appreciate it. i need direction at this moment.

after this drama ends (hope it has a good-ending), and when i reminisce my story to some poor soul out there who is facing the same problem as i am, i will be feeling grateful that i'm not in his/her shoes at that moment. *grins* till next time, god bless all those who will be receiving offers tomorrow. may my pain never be yours.

i'm going home!!

2006-12-14T13:46:00.000+11:00

here i am sitting with all over now except for uni offers.

how do i feel? disappointed-->happy-->ecstatic-->blessed (this was how i felt about my enter)

so yea, i will NOT tell what i got ok. it's just that all's good. so, CONGRATULATE ME!!

now, i'm sitting here, having not packed my bags but I'M GOING HOME TOMORROW!!

yay!! sorry if i don't reply to all your e-mails or even update this blog. i have been busy (my definition of busy, of course) and when i go back i have like snail-speed connection. oh well. will try. contact me if you wanna meet up.

TEL: 03-79565784

ok, that's all for now. when i come back, i promise to be a better and more diligent blogger. right now, i need to pack!! muaks to all and god bless. till next time, :P.

something funny

2006-12-06T23:42:00.000+11:00

Hey everyone!! Have been extremely lazy to update. all i can say is i went to graduation dinner dance and speech night. both were really good and awesome in their own way. no pics again. seriously, even i wonder what do i do during the holidays =). I laughed my butt off when i read the thing below. again, courtesy of joshuahum.blogspot.com. have fun and god bless.

50 Ways to Annoy People :

1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. (LOL!!!!!!! *Beeeep Beep Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep (Long pause) Boommmmmm..*

10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date.

13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon.

16. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies.

18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

19. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

20. Repeat everything someone says as a question.

21. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.

22. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.

23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."(Hahaha.. Kek Sei man..)

24. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

25. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

26. At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

27. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.

28. Ask people what gender they are.

29. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

30. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

31. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

32. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

33. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a." (Lol..I like the last part.)

34. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

35. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

36. Wear a lot of cologne.

37. Listen to 33RPM records at 45RPM speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

38. Sing along at the opera. (Even if you don't know what they're singing.)

39. Mow your lawn with scissors.

40. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter!"

41. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

42. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

43. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

44. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

45. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

46. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

47. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

48. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

49. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

50. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

malaysia, the lamest place i know?

2006-11-24T13:11:00.000+11:00

ok la, m'sia is not THAT lame. just super hilarious. i'm not gonna post any pictures of the outing. lazy la. anyway, check out this blog: www.joshuahum.blogspot.com . funny betul. took it from marcus' blog. been laughing my head off.

he has posts about m'sians rushing into monorail/LRT, bacon and ham, fake nike and most importantly, a man being zhar-ed dao. readi it!! it's totally amusing for boring me. scroll down if the recent posts are boring. get to the good parts :P. ok, that's all from me. have fun reading and god bless.

partying during the holidays

2006-11-21T13:10:00.000+11:00

so, it's been like a week and what have i been doing? check it out.

No. 1 on the list is Shirlene and Anisha's surprise birthday party.

so, both were on the Sunday. went directly after church and i was rushing, afraid that Nicole will give me the talk for being late and making her anxious. HOWEVER, she was the one who was late because she woke up late and took time doing her hair. haha. oh well, i waited for like 20 mins at Flinders like some stupid person. then, we went to get Shirlene's present and because all the trams were headed to Flinders, we thought it would be faster to walk. and we WALKED ALL THE WAY FROM MELBOURNE CENTRAL TO LYGON!! i ended up sweating and smelly. felt it was awkward to wish Shirlene a happy birthday especially when i'm late and sweating. i did however wished her later. haha. after a wonderful lunch, we WALKED again...it was fun looking at christmas decorations and going to alleys with restaurants that i never knew of. then, both ashley and i WALKED, after meeting lynn and others, to sha's new apartment. we WALKED TO LYGON AGAIN!! not the whole part but got lar a long way. :) good exercise. need to lose weight before graduation dinner dance.

No 2 on the list is selling books

man, i never knew it was so hard to sell books. and people can really be a prick. went around 1pm to school. first round, only got to sell my chemistry books. it's almost like all these people don't want second hand books. complained and complained to mel and nicole. then, they said to go one more time and they'll help me. haha. sold almost all my books then. except for bio and esl books. i think no one wants to take bio. -_-!! still stuck with it. not to mention, the prices here are horrible but i gladly managed to sell most of my books for 2/3 the original price. they're brand new too. my check points were a sham. had to sell for $10-15. guess i'm still luckier than some.

No 3 is going out with my ESL gang

Most of us were still here. There were six of us. dunno what happened to Frankie, Bethany and Sindy. Jun went back to Malaysia. Sandy was busy packing cos she was gonna go home the next day. I was at the boarding house and went with Mun Yee and Elisa. We were like 2 hours late. haha. went to eat at St Kilda at this burger shop. the burger was delicious. but the only stupid thing was when i had to pt down the order, i put it under my name, grace but the guy thought my name was chris -_-!! so when my burger was ready, they were calling "chris! chris!" i assumed it was me cos they have been calling for a while but i didn't wanna go incase it wasn't me. ish. after a long while then i went up cos they were still calling. yup, and truly it was me.

then we enjoyed ourselves at the beach. yaya was walking tip-toed cos she didn't want sand in her shoes. quite funny. and then, after nicole and yaya left, joyce wanted to lie down on the sheet too but she had to free herself from the sandcastle she built around herself. but sand managed to get into her jeans and she was trying to take them out. so funny. haha.

more stuff to come. wait for the photos. post them later. need to eat now. till next time, god bless.

Snapshots

2006-11-16T17:03:00.000+11:00

sorry it took so long. i've been working on it since yesterday but the widget just didn't wanna appear. ish. anyway, click the pictures for description. enjoy!!

Year 12 Final Day 06:

Last Official Day 06:

ESL Class Party 06:

Valedictory 06:

hope you loved the pictures. till next time, god bless :P

the last days of school

2006-11-15T12:30:00.000+11:00

sorry for not updating for so long. i don't people read this anyway. oh well, i shall just entertain myself :P. exams are over and things have been great. i love staying at home and doing whatever i feel like. the weather's not good these days. so can't go out. so many things to do. but anyway, this post is to update on valedictory and the last week of school. i do miss blogging somehow. a place to write whatever. and it's been a month since. oh, almost forgot. my jungle of words has turned five months!! congratulations *with confetti flying all over my face* XD

Valedictory 06:
The preparation for the night was kinda ok. i wasn't as frustrated as i was during the formal. cos i wore really simple. thank goodness. just a simple top, necklace and pants. let down my hair. and i wanted no makeup. so, i practically had plenty of time. some of us stayed back after school to get ready in sha's room at the boarding house. while they bathed, put cream and all those stuff, i was wondering around in the boarding house. it was really fun to watch all the boarders running around and asking one another which top/skirt/dress would be nice. and then, the accessories were all brought out. it's so fun to get ready with so many people.

i also visited elisa's room. so cool. on her wall were like a collage of postcards as well as metcards. haha. you'd think that she's throw the rest of her tickets away but she still has a whole stack of them. she collects them. haha.

and i went to change right and guess what? after so long, they still not done. i went changed and came out. they kept persuading me to put some makeup. i was like "ok fine. just eyeliner" so i took the eyeliner and tried to draw it myself. i drew what i thought was thick enough and they said "no, can't see". i drew darker. again "no. still can't see". then lynn draw for me. then, they said "good". -__-!! shows how much i know about all these. with a last bit of blusher, all of head down to the wyselaskie hall. oh, and vicky did most of their hair. haha. i told her "wah, do you feel like doing buns today? you seem to be doing them on everyone. (in different style la of cos)" she replied "shhhh, don't tell them but i only know how to do buns"

when we arrived, it was ok ler. like not so pretty but good enough. i took a lot of pictures with people. friends, teachers, and more friends. the food was great but not enough for everyone in my opinion. like when i went back for seconds, almost everything was gone. aihs, what can i expect from the school? they so kiamsap and i even paid $20 for this night. but the highlight of the night was the song sung by tanya after the presentations. "Stand up for love" by destiny's child. when she was singing it, the whole hall was like silent. i almost felt like crying actually but i was too busy recording her singing with my camera. and after dessert, most of us went out to take group pics. well, they did take some group pics without me. insulted and left out? yea, kinda. but i don't mind. i'm not a poser anyway. i'll just wreck the picture. yup, so that's valedictory for me.

The Last Days at school:
This will be short and sweet. one word: PARTY!! of course, as it came closer, things were kinda upsetting. but hey, there were a lot of parties and food. esl class had to have a party of cos. the food was delicious and we, well mostly joyce, had a lot of fun with the water gun. had chemistry quiz. my group isn't always fast enough. i personally suspected that our buzzer wasn't working. i was sure pressed that thing so many times. i knew so many but because of that stupid buzzer, we didn't get many points. haha. nicole, melody and mun yee were like screaming all the way cos they had so many points. what do we expect? nicole did get the academic excellence award for chemistry.

i did feel sad sitting in the hall when we had our presentations in the hall. i felt happy at first. i mean, seriously, i'm finally finishing!! yes!! i still remember tell myself in the beginning of the year that i will finish the year strong. i guess, i got distracted many times in between. but i do hope i get good marks. during the presentation, lorraine missed her turn because mrs elvins was reading out the names too fast. poor girl. she was like standing on the steps, lost and hesistating. fortunately, they remembered her and she went up to collect her testimonial and the bible. yup, that's what all of us got. the testimonial was a load of crap. a one-page in which most of the space was filled with my subjects and my co-curriculum activities. the paragraph about me was like small. what's the point of a testimonial if it's not gonna write much about me? i mean, if i wanted to show the uni the things i did in school, i might as well show them certificates and badges.

but i took a lot of pictures too. got the mothers to pose as well. had fun overall. all i can say is i will miss all my friends in plc. must keep in touch ok!! dang, i feel sad at this moment. i guess it's cos my life's gonna change again. you guys will be close to my heart!! love you. till next time, god bless.

MY JUNGLE TURNS 4 MONTHS!!

2006-10-13T15:51:00.000+10:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JUNGLE!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!

THREE CHEERS FOR THE JUNGLE!!

it's unbelievable. may my jungle grow more and more and i learn more about God and His purposes for me. I truly believe that God is going to do great things before school ends. the boarding house is already experiencing amazing stuff. hope my turn comes soon. i wanna see God do work in my life!! i'm gonna paint my jungle red with the blood of Jesus!!

tonight's the valedictory. i promise to have post and photos. till next time, God bless you!! :P

the stale air in the wind

2006-10-12T18:11:00.000+10:00

these days have been really hot that i now am taking shelter from the sun in the study room which is cooler than the living room in which the tv is located. even the wind blows hot air. aihs. anyway, today has been an interesting day.

one thing's for sure, nicole has been really mean lately. maybe she's pms-ing. hehe. nicole, if you're reading this, all i can say is this --> :P

anyway today in methods, things are really funny. Elisa was saying that in malaysia she had to look down when she's talking to people and to bend down and how uncomfortable that was. Nicole was like pointing at me. yes, nicole, i know i'm shorter than you but being 5ft 4" is alright, OK!! so, you get the point. the tall people were talking about how uncomfortable it was being tall when most of your friends are short. Then Nicole just had to make this comment (you know, i think it's one of her funniest jokes and teases to which i fail to make a good comeback)

nicole: it's ok, elisa, the air we breathe up here is fresher. all the shorter people are breathing our carbon dioxide.

hehe. i actually find that really amusing. nicole keeps teasing me for being short. aihs. ain't i at the average asian height? i do wanna grow. maybe someday nicole might wanna donate some height to me. or you know what? i'll just pray very hard to God to make me 5ft 7". then, that'll shut that nicole up for good. hmph, esp for calling me "carbon dioxide breather". but i know nicole will miss me a lot when school ends even though she keeps saying that she won't miss me. right nicole? *winks*

ok, so much for disappearing from the blog world. at least my jungle is being taken good care of. by the way, tomorrow's the valedictory and my blog's birthday!! HAPPY BE-EARLY BIRTHDAY TO "LIFE IN A JUNGLE"!! YOU'VE TURNED FOUR MONTH'S OLD!! till next time when we celebrate the birthday of my blog, god bless :P

mood swings in the jungle

2006-10-10T21:12:00.000+10:00

ok, so i'm feeling better and so i can tell you people what happened. basically my uncle passed away on the 30th of september from lung cancer. my mum, sis and i were all hoping that we would be able to see him one last time when we go back at the end of the year. the doctor only gave him six months. but i guess it was not God's will. so yea.

things i will miss about kow fu (my uncle):
1. the popsicles he would buy for my sis and i when we were younger.
2. he used to drive me to kindie and sometimes after school when i was in primary school.
3. calling kow fu everytime i go to his place cos he's always around.
4. the times when he tries to be nice and treat us sweets even though he has lost his memory.
5. the drumming of his fingers on the table.
6. seeing him sitting in his seat (it's called his seat cos he always sits there)

there are so many memories. i don't think i'm trying my best to remember cos i don't wanna cry. it's been hard to go through life as normal. i guess we have to put it behind us. but i'm glad that he's in heaven with God. so, when i die, i'll meet him there.

anyway, things have been pretty fun!! and i've put up pics. sadly, i've realised one thing...I'VE GROWN SO FAT OVER THE WINTER!!! argh, all that hardwork before formal wasted. ish. now i've gotta start moving my big butt again. and the worst thing is that this friday is the valedictory dinner and i've bought a moderately tight top!! what am i going to do?! i don't like showing off my fats to the world!! ahhhh!!!!!

oh well, on a happier note, this friday my blog's turning 4 MONTHS OLD!! isn't it amazing??!! my blog...it lasted. all thanks to lynn whose blog is not only a constant inspiration and encouragement but she's also my blog guru. ahaha. so, this might be the last post in a long, long while. dunno yet. cos in three weeks time, exams are starting. so i've gotta study. my poor blog will be so lonely. but it's ok, i know there will be people who will be leaving messages on my chatbox to keep my blog company right? *hint-hint* coughleaveamessagecough. ahaha. till next time, all the best and god bless.

Pyjamas day 06:
1. nicole and i 2. yaya and me 3. elisa and me 4. bethany 5. mun yee 6. nicole looking at dead yaya 7. nicole blowing her nose (so disgusting :P) 8. jun and me 9. meeting in pyjamas 10. sleepy nicole and yaya

12S3 group pic (sadly, not everyone was in it)
back row (fr left): carolyn, vicky, melody, sarah/selah, phoebe, jeshri, kitty, elisa
front row (fr left): tian, ashley, bethany, me, rachel

ESL class details. Mrs Mac even printed it out for us in colour since we decorated it!! haha. my name has only one comment. i feel so loved.

Mummy's 59th birthday:
1. Mummy's cake with present 2.triple chocolate mouse cake 3. cake with presents again!! 4. mummy blowing candles 5. mummy, li ern and me 6. mummy and rachel 7. mummy, rachel and aunty ee peng.

Other School Uniform Day:
1. ashley, mun yee and elisa 2. frankie and sandy 3. lynn and see ann 4. melody and me 5. mun yee and nicole 6. tian 7. sally 8. shirley and elisa 7. group pic. fr left: sharanya, amanda, shirley, tina, grace, yasmin. back: mun yee and elisa 8. megan...don't ask me what she's doing. you won't wanna know.

shut up and don't ask

2006-09-30T17:39:00.000+10:00

sorry, i haven't been updating much cos there's nothing much happening in my life till today. something happened. if in school, you don't see me acting normal, don't ask or say anything. leave me alone. i don't wanna talk about it or remember it. the most you could do is make me smile. please. thanks. remember, just don't ask. till next time, god bless.

study, study and study!!

2006-09-18T14:44:00.000+10:00

all this studying is boring me!!! sobsobs. save me from this please!! haihs. i'm very reluctant to study but i know i must.

i need to study.
i'm bored.
i'm hungry.
i wanna watch goong but sis don't let *hrmph*
here's a video clip of a song i like in goong. hope you enjoy it while i continue studying.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsuwVE8v0AQ

and the jungle was rocking!!

2006-09-18T11:22:00.000+10:00

to the HILLSONG UNITED LIVE CONCERT!!! wahahaha. i actually wanted to post something on it but lazy. so i'm doing it today :P.

the hillsong united band was playing at citylife church on friday nite. wah, so geng man. the place was like packed!! sadly, ashley couldn't make it. she was sick. hope you're feeling better!! anyway, it was an awesome experience. cos i remember last time i got conned. in msia that is. haihs, some people told me got hillsong church coming to sing live and i really thought that it was the REAL hillsong. but it was its satellite church in malacca. -.-! but that concert was good too. i got a lot of my friends to go. i reckon it was the first time they've been in a church. so yea, we had a great time.

but that was NOTHING compared to the one on friday night. firstly, it was the REAL band all the way from sydney. and then, wah, so many people there. so syok!! everyone was jumping and singing. and the message was sooo nice and funny. i had a really good time. well, i really don't know how to relive the moment in this blog. and i'm those people who will forget a lot of things. cos to keep memories and cherish them can sometimes include the bad stuff. and i'm those type who are not so crazy about these things (e.g. bands, actors, artists). they fade away to me pretty quickly. heh XD.

anyway, that's all for now i guess. will write more when inspired XD. till then, god bless.

Snapshots

2006-09-16T12:20:00.000+10:00

hey you!! guess what? i've finally gave up on the blogger photo upload and use photobucket. so easy and quick. so now i shall give you guys the photos which are long overdue!! enjoy!!

Senior Badminton Team party:

vicky (basketballer wannabe) and me. natasha sim and me (funny faces). jess yoong trying to tie the snake knot in her mouth. renee who's not even in the team but is eating our food. see ann. yaya. megan the rock chick. shirley the chef and me (in case you didn't realise, she's serving me for lunch).

Mel's 18th bday party:

jess wu (in a skirt and she was wearing boots!!) and me. nicole lai (in a mini skirt too!! dang, she had to wear those tights). nic0le again with her mouth full of rich chocolate!!. not much pics for this cos i didn't look too good and i was too busy eating to take many photos anyway. buffet with oysters!!

ESL outing in the city:

junnie *peace*. bethany and joyce. elisa, mun yee, nicole and yaya (all eating). good food. more good food. nicole the octopus. jun (the snorkler) in the midst of octopuses wannabes (me. mun yee. bethany. we couldn't do it as good as nicole tho. she was born for the octopus look :P). jun, me,mun yee and bethany. yaya and me (the hoodies!!)

yup, that's all for now. hope you've enjoyed them!! till next time, god bless :P.

buffet and dimsum galore

2006-09-15T14:07:00.000+10:00

i'm sorry about the previous post. i tried to upload more pics but couldn't. i really did try ok. i'm not gonna upload anymore photos unless people actually help me with it. i so suck at this.

anyway, just to make you jealous, I'M ON HOLIDAYS!!! wahahha. and yes, i've been enjoying myself too much to blog. and my net is lagging. SO, on saturday i went to mel's partee. so geng man!! all the good food. hehe. loads of oysters that i had at least TWO FULL plates of. and the shrimp salad. yum. not to mention the rich chocolate dessert. wahahaha. and guess what? i get to see NICOLE LAI and JESS WU in a skirt!! wah, syoknya. hehe. and after that we went karaoke. my first time going XD. yay!! haha. unknown to my mum that is until i went back. haha. oh well, it was great fun. the one song i sang was "she wore an...itsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny, yellow polka-dot bikini...". hahaha. yes, pathetic song choice i know. but i dunno what to choose and ash chose this so that we both can sing. hahaha.

and then on sunday, i had YUM CHAR!!! wahahaha. ate and ate again. heh. but this time not so much to report cos it was with relatives and all were old people. my cousin didn't go. so yea, it was just me, sis and rach...the young people XD.

BUT... the best was MONDAY!! i went out three days in a row man. did nothing. anyway, i met nicole and elisa at the train station and we went to the city. met the other people in our esl class, including mrs mac. then we all choot fatt to the shark fin house in chinatown. hehe. ate so much ok. there were like almost 20 types of dishes and for almost each dish, we had two portions (?? plates?? you get the point). was sooo full. hehe. all of us could eat a lot even BETHANY *shock horror o_O*. all except for mrs mac and nicole. haihs, this nicole lai has no stamina. then we took sticker photos. haha. so funny. all of us were like crammed into the small machine thing and nicole complained of dying. hehehe. it came out quite ok. then we split up for a bit and met at max brenner's. chocolate shop *drools*. i couldn't eat anything tho cos that was the first time i've been to max brenner's. dunno what to order and no one wanted to share with me.

at max brenner's, nicole, the paedofile, saw a baby who was really adorable. haha. she was SOOOOOO cute. and her skirt was slightly up. so you know where nicole's eyes were. haha. ok, that sounds just so wrong. anyway, then we went to eat gelati!! it seemed that all gelati shops were like closed. maybe they were scared that we would eat all of their gelati!! haha. i'm being lame. i had green apple gelati. it was so good. i wanted one mango scoop too but then i was gonna have good dinner so i had to save my stomach for it.

IN THE END, my stomach got so big. i was like bloated. and the next day, i went to ashley's for dinner. haha. growing fat. nvm, as amy nhan (is that how you spell her surname?) and i concluded, sitting on your butt is the best exercise because you can do it anywhere at anytime!! and i've been faithfully doing so for the past 2/3 days studying. haha. actually just finishing up hw. next week is the real studying. haihs. what hols are these if one has to study for trials which so happen to be on the last week of hols??

P/S: THIS IS SERIOUS!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO UPLOAD PHOTOS!! PLEASE TEACH ME...THESE FREAKING PHOTOS JUST WON'T COME OUT!! I'VE DONE THE UPLOADING THING LIKE ABOUT 3 TO 4 TIMES AND THEY WON'T SHOW...SOBS...on a better note, HILLSONG UNITED LIVE CONCERT IS TODAY!! i'm gonna go enjoy myself XD!!

Snapshots

2006-09-06T13:36:00.000+10:00

below: yun yi!! yea, she'a always studying. -.-
left: the TRUE tan yun yi!!

both pictures show yun yi and her alleged boyfriend, yinn cher. wahahaha. she's gonna hate me for this. XD

From left: jessica yoong, melissa, jess wu and me ( i don't know where i am looking)

chickens run free...

2006-09-05T22:26:00.000+10:00

feeling lazy at the moment to do any work. shucks, jun is so right about me being lazy. look hardworking and got sac tmr but i can't be stuffed to study. at least, i LOOK hardworking.

so today's been a busy day. 2 sacs in the start of the morning -.-! but i survived XD. in spesh, i learnt that i'm very stupid when it comes to multiple choice. you can eliminate stuff without even doing much working. and to think i've always been spending time writing it all out!! gives a whole new perspective to multiple choice.

so in esl, the title of one the articles was "Chicken runs free...". animal liberationists are silly people haven't they heard of bird flu??!! haihs, and because of them, we have to do so much work (note-taking, language analysis and persuasive). anyway, learnt a new word from jun today.

cluck-a-phobic = fear of chickens

haha. all this chicken work made the whole class hate chickens. and as none of us finish the work except nicole who comes close to finishing, we have more chicken work to do. ish.

oh, during lunch, we have senior badminton partee!!! yay, got loads of food and pictures. will post the pics up tmr. promise. together with the pic of yun yi. wahaha. and...and...you know what??!! I WATCHED GOONG from like 3:45pm to 5:00pm. wahhahaha. the highlight of my day!! love that movie. things are getting better. think that by the end of the series, i'll go back to malaysia to buy goong season 1. korean series rock!! do watch it if you have the time. at first, it may seem mild and typical but as it goes on, its darn funny. i give it 5 stars!! ok, now time to go get the pics ready and go to sleep. nites all!!

to my dearest amoeba

2006-09-02T11:00:00.000+10:00

this is a tribute to my very close friend who is going to leave for scotland tomorrow. it's gonna be just for her. if you wanna read it, it's fine. you can skip it even. i won't mind cos this is meant for her.

in form 4, i changed to cempaka damansara and i guess i can say that it was very lucky that i did that cos i met yun yi. we used to e-mail each other in form 4. remember that yun? all the times we would compete to see who used to write more and claim the title of "crap queen". ahaha. but i have to admit, this woman can definitely crap. don't see her only as a genius and then assume that she's a nerd. well, she might be at times, but she's more of a dungu most of the time. so, it was through her, my crap sifu, that i learnt to write non-stop. ahaha.

the times we share:
we've shared so many memories together that it's quite hard to name all. but i shall try...dsss (deaf silly singing sausage scraps) ahaha. all our theories about jason turning out the way he is. haha. our stares at various people, namely ben (dinosaur yawn) and ren jiun(during moral?). oh, i can't forget the naked old man. *winks* the times i came to kacau you when you were doing your duty after school ("temporary probate"). the PINK (yes, i remember it now) bra with white rabbit. the water fight with cik zainab. the teasing of mr sheat. the picture of his butt and mr pancha's. the contenging of table and stealing of stationery during pn jam's class (her big eyes at us, remember?). the songs you sang to me. good voice, yun. the times you cried. they were definitely more than mine. the times you were angry at me and your family. haha. those were quite a few too. the e-mails we have wrote to each other. the times that i "preached" to you. the three hour talk non-stop. the borrowing of your physics notes. i would always have to beg you for them *hmph*. the very fast talking done by the f5 science 2 guy who used to sit next to you in bio and next to me in chem whenever we have combined classes. the search for food during our last commencements (i know you went last yr but that doesn't count :P). the wang lee hom and other chinese songs. you got me onto chinese songs even when i dont' understand what they mean. the poetry that both of us tried. it's the one thing that i'm better at than you!! basically almost the whole time of study skills. remember the cat that jumped onto my bag which was behind me. ganasnya. the crazy long chats online which always end with you needing to go for a shower. you're such a smelly pig!! your 18th birthday. the times we went out together, which was only twice? haha. the phantom of the opera and the wallace and gromit. the birthday present you gave me. my "pencil box" is still in my cupboard. i still don't wanan use it yet. very memalukan to carry this kind of pencil box everywhere. (in case you have a memory lapse, the pencil box = vase) the last day of school. the cam-whoring. haha. the picture with mr sheat. so many memories!! and oh, how can i forget about your bedtime? :)

ABOUT HER:
Name: Tan Yun Yi (it's green!!)
Age: 18
Date of Birth: 20th January 1988
Her Future Bf must have: Blue Eyes!!
She is: funny, amusing, patient, intelligent, talkative, evil, hopeless romantic, creative, responsible, anime fan (more than me at least), loves sleep, big reader, easily influenced by me (i.e. sunscreen)
Her nicks: my amoeba, bobby-lover, my senior prefect, crap sifu...i can't remember anymore.

there maybe no pics of you now, but maybe on monday, i shall do so. wahahahaha. i will post her beautiful face although she now lacks the braces. might even steal from your friendster account. i want you to know that i will DEFINITELY MISS you so much. thanks for everything that we've been through/shared/laughed at/get each other addicted to. this maybe a goodbye to all our chats online, my wish of having a video convo with you and all the other things. but it is not a goodbye to our friendship ok. we'll still e-mail each other and share whatever. i'll still plague you no matter what. i will still listen to all your crap (the good, the bad and the ugly). i will still pray for you and preach to you to get a closer relationship with Jesus. i will MOST CERTAINLY STILL love you and miss you. *MUAKS WITH LOADS OF SALIVA!!!* XD

you know i can't smile without you,
i can't smile without you,
i can't laugh and i can't sing,
i'm finding it hard to do anything,
you see i feel sad when you're sad,
i feel glad when you're glad,
if only you knew, what i'm going through,
i just can't smile without you!!

a spoilt yesterday

2006-08-27T16:05:00.000+10:00

like everyone else, i have my bad days. yesterday was one of them. it was over really silly stuff i suppose but it really made me upset and i wanted people to talk to. see ann tried and i do thank her for that. it's just that i didn't know what was wrong with me till i prayed before i slept.

everytime i'm upset, i try to stand back up as fast as i can and be happy despite wanting to cry so badly. i guess it's cos i'm so used to standing alone and having only myself to lean on. i don't trust people to stick with me through my troubles cos they only know how to watch me and not help me. been a bit more open these past two years i guess but am still very cautious about the things i tell people. yes, i know i have God but there are the days when i don't feel like talking to Him because i know what He's doing and i don't like it. haha. i seem like a small kid sulking. luckily, my God is bigger than that to withstand all my tantrums. thanks God!!

ok, let me tell everything from the beginning. leanne told me that she's been looking for a new home church and she's been praying about it. so i was like a bit unhappy when she told me that ages ago. i don't like change. i usually find it hard cos i've had really bad experiences with it. but as she hadn't decided at that time, i was still ok. then last week, when i went to the planet shakers church, she said that she'd decided that she's gonna make planet shakers city church her home church. i was like ok. my heart was feeling it but i didn't wanna make her feel bad so i smiled everything through.

she asked me to pray for her as she was gonna tell everyone in our cell group. i was like ok. again, upset but am doing my very best to hide it and stop it from making me cry. ok, i confess. i wasn't THAT overjoyed about her going. in fact, i wasn't that enthusiastic about praying for her either but cos she's my friend, i did so. almost every night and whenever i remembered. but all that prayer didn't change the way i felt. i was upset and i was hiding it from myself.

on friday, reality hit me on the face. she announced to everyone. yes, i was happy for her. yes, i know if that's where God wants her to go, i'm not to hold her back. but what i didn't understand was why it couldn't be later. why couldn't it be after i really got used to this church and got to know the people? i still feel like a stranger in that church. sobs. so during worship, i actually had tears flowing down my cheeks. but i tried my best to wipe them away and stop myself from sobbing uncontrollably and make leanne upset. still, just being in God's presence made me let the tears flow. although i was still holding in my flood of tears, God let the little trickle of tears rolled down my face. this always happen whenever i'm upset and busy hiding it from myself. and i would do it so well that i'd know there's something wrong with me but i don't know what. then, i'd be in the presence of God and i'll be crying like non-stop. that's the reason why sometimes when i'm upset, i don't wanna be close to God cos i know i don't wanna cry. i wanna stay "strong and happy" but who was i kidding? i knew i was unhappy and so did God.

"Where can i go from Your spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?...even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me fast."
~Psalm 139:7,10~

like said in that psalm above, God was definitely holding me tight. He coaxed the tears out of me yesterday after a whole day of being distracted and not being me. I had a partially good cry. still have some of it in my heart. why, you might ask, am i so upset because leanne was changing church? it's not a big deal, i know.

the truth is that i was just being stupid. i thought that eversince i came to Australia, God isn't gonna take away people anymore. but He did to heal me from my past. and i know it alhough i wasn't happy about it. He wants me to learn to lean on Him and not others. He wants me to know that my security is in Him and not others. and also, He wants me to love the family of God at crossway and get to know them. He wants me to not be afraid of getting to know people. i usually am cos of the things i've been through. i may know many people on the outside and seem to be able to click easily but the truth is that i do not show people what's inside me. they tend to tell me things but i never do share back. i'm just scared. scared of history repeating itself. but now i know, He's holding me fast and leading me. God, i'm holding You to that promise in that verse! I'm claiming that verse over my life!!

thanks so much to all who have tried and thanks to God especially. sorry if i seem really silly. i'm just a baby at heart. haha. God pampers me XD!! ok, love you guys and god bless.

"Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." ~Romans 8:35,17-39~

beef rendang...yum!!

2006-08-20T23:43:00.000+10:00

you know, i think by now, my jungle evolves around food. well, at least the titles are. but i hope the points in it are not.

anyway, today was melbourne uni's open day. the day started pretty bleak. shouting at my sister to hurry up. power walking to the tram stop although halfway, my flat feet were hurting so bad that i slowed down. dreading to see the horrible look of carolyn who keeps thinking we're late but we're not. but it wasn't as bad as i expected. well, at least, she didn't give me the ugly face. *phew*

didn't see much cos i'm like out of a lot of choices for my preferences. but now, i guess ok ler. i have firmly made up my mind about medicine. just still praying for which one uni i prefer to go to do med. the rest of my preferences are health sciences and although i have made my mind up on med, i do not believe that it's good for me to just simply fill up the spaces for the rest of the VTAC application. am still arranging them in order and reconsidering cos my mum made good points tonight about them.

so after spending most of the morning walking while trying to find my way around (and i was doing this really badly cos i was not really THAT interested in the open day. been last yr...TWICE. go figure), i went to melbourne central to meet up with suet and to return her FULL HOUSE series. FINALLY. let me tell you, i've kept that thing since march. and i've already burnt it quite long time ago. haihs. then i went on the agonising shopping for my sister and mel's present. both birthday gals are equally fussy about their presents.

mel doesn't want: clothes, accessories, girly stuff, DRUMSTICKS, drum pads, etc.
my sister wants: things that she would think nice and she has already asked see ann to OBVIOUSLY hint to me -_-!!

so yea, walked around so two hours or so and still haven't found their presents. bought checkpoints as i was walking down swanston street. then went to mcDs to meet up with my sister at 4.30pm. that woman only came around 5pm >S. luckily, i met jun, lynn and claire, all as thirsty as me and we were all craving for snacks. haha. had fries. when my sister came, i decided to abandon the plan of going to crossway for worship cos it'll be too rush by the time i get back. so went to planet shakers. it was awesome. i could seriously feel the spirit of God moving. but actually, i do feel that anywhere :) (thank God for that. if i didn't feel that whenever i'm worshipping God, i'll be worried XD). and guess what?? I GOT FREE SHAKERS CD!! wahahaha. at first, i didn't want to sign up as a newcomer but then when bing said that got free CD, the greedy part of me went and do it XD. oh well, i was never perfect :D.

the best part was the fellowship with bing and leanne. i think those two are pretty close as they've been doing much goodwork together in the boarding house. sometimes, i do feel left out. they're kinda close to me but as they work together, they're closer with each other. and at times, i do admit that i'm envious of them but i've prayed about it and i know that someday i will do the miraculous work of God. till that day, i'll do the best that i can. yes, i have not forgotten that my sister was there all the time.

haha. anyway, we went to NELAYAN (an indo restaurant) to eat. ALL OF US HAD BEEF RENDANG!! it was soooo yummy!!! make me extremely full. there goes the exercise on friday and all the walking i did today. haihs. nevermind, will try harder this week *winks*. ok, now to bed after a really tiring day. my thigh is hurting now!! am so unfit :P. nites and god bless!!

cranium and poker

2006-08-19T22:50:00.000+10:00

yup, yesterday i went to the yr 12 crossway's social-ish thing. i was really reluctant to go at first. for many reasons that is. but i thought, if in the long run i'm gonna be in this church, i'd better get to know ppl.

so we went. we were already half an hour late but all the people there were guys. -_-!! i mean seriously, like none of the gals appeared except for melanie who came later at about 9pm. we played cranium. 4 groups of four. it was ok ler. not spectacular but i guess the only thing i realised is that australians have like limited card games. besides stuff like poker and other gambling related games, they know nothing. i did learn how to play poker and pass the ace, but besides that, it was kinda boring, no offense. couldn't pig out cos i had just eaten dinner and was extremely tired due to exercise *glares at ashley*.

but the whole thing reminded me of my church friends in malaysia. when we had all these fun activities under the name of fellowship, it was always fun. we would play heart attack in huge groups. everyone would be shouting and screaming. and then the game called murderer or something like that. bluff would be included. there would definitely be chor tai ti. i miss those days. even church camps. besides, the house that we had the social in had so many CDs and they reminded me of alvin's fantastic collection of pirated DVDs.

so yea, i hope i do get to know people in crossway and become part of that church(that is if it is God's will for me to stay there). there was one funny part about yesterday tho. cos there was this pair of twins, ben and matt (not that alike if you ask me). shan asked them how far are they apart, and they replied 17 mins. then when it came to my sister and i, shan introduced that we are sisters.

paul/nixon: so who's older and how far apart are you?
me: *raising my hand* me. we're two years apart.
shan: *laughing* that must have been a long birth. their mother must have suffered a lot.

we all laughed. for those who don't know, my sister and i look alike to other people. our friends do tend to get us mixed up. heck, even my parents do call us the wrong names and they've been doing that our whole lives. so, naturally, people would have thought that we are twins altho we are SO not. i used to have some of my friends telling me that they would think that i had just passed them. when they take a really close look and after a while, they realised it was not me. -_-! and to think i call them my friends.

anyway, tomorrow's melbourne uni's open day. after that, i think i'm gonna start my VTAC application on my preferences. till now, i only have 5 and i need a minimum of 8. haihs, all these crap. >P bleh. need to sleep now. nites all and god bless.

note: to all my help friends, i heard that your results were not that good. am really sorry to hear that. hope you'll survive this. and to everyone else, do take time to admire my new chatbox and leave a msg!! XD

steam fish concert

2006-08-16T18:03:00.000+10:00

this happened on monday. again, done by ashley. don't wanna spoil things for you, so just keep reading.

so end of school. mel, tian, ash, me and my sis were all hanging out around my locker area before we say our goodbyes for the day. so mel was telling tian about this place she went.

mel: the zhing yu is very expensive. (in canto)
tian replies to mel.
ash: eh, what's zhing yu?
me: steam fish
ash: *smiles embarassedly* i thought they were talking about a concert.
me: haha. what did you think they were talking about? steam fish concert?!

everyone was busy laughing at ash. let me say, it only takes ash to do retarded things like that. just before i end, i wanna apologise if sometimes my entries are too long. i just wanna share the moment with all of you. but i guess some moments just can't be relived. haha. ok. till next time, god bless.

nasi lemak!

2006-08-14T22:25:00.000+10:00

haha. i just realised as i type the title that my blog is very much food related. oh well, i LOVE food, XD!!

so my weekend was awesome. some people might say that i'm such a slacker. i do have to admit that i am. but like everyone else, i do deserve a bit of slack especially when i'm wrestling with God on the future of my life. seriously, how in the world do i know what to choose? man, up till now, my life has been lead by God step by step. it's like He has been holding my hand and telling me where to go. not that i mind. but like leanne, it's time for me to decide. be the big girl and choose. it's hard. especially knowing that i'm such a passionate person when it comes to things i love. oh well, will just keep on praying. pray for me if you want to. i really need it cos this issue has been making me lose focus. i'm like aimless and i don't like to be aimless. haha. God knows that.

anyway...SO, my weekend was AWESOME!! on friday, i did nothing but slack. haha. had quite a lot of fun in church cos we had a taste of what it was like to live in east timor. man, let me tell you, it was T-O-U-G-H to crawl on concrete and then carry a bucket, may i emphasise it again A BUCKET LOAD, of water while crawling. i feel so achieved. haha. it was tough man. inspiring. and that's not even half of what those kids in east timor are going through. horrible. people, please just keep donating ok. they really need it.

and then my saturday was a nice mixture of HORROR, and FUN!! how contradicting but then again, that's how life always is. so, it started of with me having to do my sister's hair. for those who don't know me, let me just say that anything beauty related, especially the hair, is not my expertise. i can't even manage my own curly hair!! talk about doing my sister's. so she told me somewhat of the thing she wanted, gave me instructions which i struggled to remember while trying to picture how her hair is suppose to look like and then she surrendered her precious hair into my care.

it was not THAT much of a disaster. now i can PROUDLY say that i have curled someone's hair with those freaking rollers. curling iron is easy...it was ze rollers that were hard. the end product was ok. i felt a bit bad cos it was not like amazing or pretty. in fact, i thought i did a really horrible job of it. was sulking a bit about it the whole night cos i honestly felt so bad about making my sister ugly. then when she came back and showed me the pictures, i was happier. it was prettier as i didn't put that much hairspray so most of the curls didn't stay. THANK GOD!! so it came out quite pretty, i must say, considering my hairdressing skills are like NONE.

and after sending my sister off, i went to ashley's to eat NASI LEMAK!! ain't i happy!! unlike most people, i don't get to go home often to eat malaysian food and the aussie version of them usually sucks. so i enjoyed TWO plates of nasi lemak. tho, i must add that my stomach paid a bit of price for it. luckily i'm smart enough to drink a bit of hot water if not i sure die. for the ignorant, i lack emulsifying agents. so too much fatty food gives me much pain. that's why i pig on carbs like chocolates, jelly beans, the like.

then we watch movie, "the notebook". it was a really sweet story tho i didn't cry. lynn, don't worry i'm not pissed. i'm just a romantic at heart. haha. the reason i didn't cry? people were spoiling my romantic atmosphere. *sobs* it'll be a long time before i can watch it cos i'll keep remembering all that mandarin throwing done by ashley to sha and yan yin who so happen to sit beside me. *glares at ash* just kidding. then played ping-pong which caused my old stiff bones to hurt. not funny ok. i'm still suffering the side effects of it today.

thus, my fun-filled weekend with bare minimum hw. i watched a lot of anime on sunday and felt so freaking scared of mrs starkey(bio teacher who's always pissy) today as i thought i haven't finished all my bio hw. luckily, the one i haven't finished was the one she wasn't checking. *phew*. ok, now to bed for my food burning tmr. such a waste of food for the sake of education. i'd rather feed my hungry stomach *winks*

monash open day

2006-08-07T16:42:00.000+10:00

yesterday, as most uni-hunting ppl would know, is monash open day. it was very fun!! i love it! so woke up yesterday extremely early. at 8 am on a sunday!! ok la, i woke up at like 7/8 something then i went back to sleep :P. what you expect?! it's the weekend for goodness sake! anyway, got ready and was at the bus stop by 9:17 am and carolyn (retarded as usual) had her watch at m'sian time. so when she converted to aussie time, she added 3 hours and scolded me, "see la!! told you we were late! when we left the house, we were late adi!" so i gave her the -_-! look and asked her to check her watch again. haihs, she memang stress for nothing.

anyway, went so early to monash that i was basically watching people setting up the place for open day. and i didn't get a bag till later. went for my usual stuff but this time, much shorter. medicine, biomedical sciences, biochemistry,nutrition and dietetics and pharmacology. i like the pharmacology lecturer. she's so nice. and the administrator at the biomed stall. she's nice too. talked a lot with her. haha.

anyway, the highlight of my day was not waiting for 2 hours doing nothing while my sis and carolyn finish their talks. it was going with ash and lynn.

at first, i met them and they were like showing me their slime. lynn's one was pink and nice to play with. you could actually play with it without it sticking to your hand. you can even use it to hit other people. on the contrary, ashley's one was really a good representation of her. R-E-T-A-R-D-E-D. she did everything according to instructions but her green slime just wouldn't be normal. i guess, one's creation can only reflects one's character. haha. but wait...that's not the funniest part.

the funniest thing is when we visit the med faculty while waiting for lynn to finish her talk. you see, i went earlier to the med faculty and met annelise (last yr's plc student, i.e. my senior) and one of ben's friend, lee mei. i do have to admit i thought this guy named shannon was ben. but then, i remembered, ben has lost weight. haha. anyway, he wasn't there so i hung out with his friends. we went and i met lee mei again but this time, she was with her friend, chloe. they were experimenting the instruments on each other. so i decided to learn. ahah. then i thought it would be good to practice on ash XD.

so i put the thing on her arm. but i did it the other way around. after many times, this guy named fahreem came to help. while i was trying the thing on ash, four guys came in with the surgery cap and mask together with their sunglasses. so funny! so fahreem was showing how to do it properly and when he asked me to hear for the first pulse, i couldn't hear anything. i heard chloe's pulse. so, i am not deaf. then fahreem changed the stethoscope and the blood pressure thing. and we try again. but still couldn't. then we try the other hand. still sucked. haha. by this time, i was LOUDLY claiming that ash has no pulse :P. the four guys with the surgery caps were laughing too. so we thought, maybe we should let her hear her own heartbeat. so she wore the stethoscope and was putting the thing on her chest but STILL couldn't hear anything. fahreem officially pronounced her dead. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! then we felt for her pulse at her wrist. LUCKILY, he found her pulse. she's so lousy. haha. that entertained me for quite long. then i went back. haha.

ok, end of the open day story. now i can't say i'll update so often since school's starting again tmr. today's the last day of my 3-day weekend :(. tests again!! but it's ok. 2 PLUS MORE MONTHS TO GO!!! YAY!!! XD

because of you

2006-08-05T17:10:00.000+10:00

haha. 98 degrees. i remember the time when this song was so popular. in my early primary school days? man, it's old. anyway, now, a follow up on yesterday's event: Mars Festival.(note the lack of enthusiasm)

I was tired by the time I waited for everyone to come. had a esl creative writing sac. it was insane. i was rewriting my essay in the past tense in the last half and hour. 1000+ words in an hour is an achievement for those who know me. i write S-L-O-W

and so, it was overall ok ler. only like Sounds Like Chicken and Cacktus. was in the acoustic section (sadly no serenading song that i could drool over the guitar). the cacktus was on. so funny. here's a bit of the lyrics of one of their songs.

we've been friends for a very long time
but now i'm angry(or something like that)
give me back my twenty cents
i've charged interest
it's now fifty two cents

why do I have a nose?
if i had no nose, i wouldn't be able to smell ____'s fart
but the nose is good for export
to inhale those things to bring into bali...

why must we wear clothes?
I would rather be a nudie (and something which i couldn't hear)
...i would rather see your boobies.

haha. then there was a song about supre. so funny. sadly lynn and ash missed it. but the part of the night which i liked best was free cds!! haha. apparently, i invited the most friends, i.e. sold the most tickets. haihs, if only they knew that I was belanja-ing my friends. so here are some pics. enjoy!!

p/s: I STILL WANT A TAG BOARD!! HELP ME SOMEONE!! ok, i tried posting pictures...uploaded them then what?! i so need help with this thing. so sorry, no pics :(

Disarmed

2006-08-03T22:16:00.000+10:00

current music: Speechless - the Veronicas

have you ever felt like you're falling head over heels over some guy? haha. yes, i know it's called a crush. but i have one question...how do you know when you're having a crush? haha. what a weird thing to ask. this is what being in a girls' school and having a whole week of tests does to you. it's makes me a bit weird. suppose to be studying for accounting but too lazy. can't be stuffed.

anyway, back to our real question. how do you know you have a crush? is it:-
1. you think about the guy all the time?
2. you go online just to talk to that guy?
3. when you are jealous that the guy's asking you advise on another girl and you tell him or her to not meddle in other people's business?

how do you exactly know these things? this topic is proudly inspired by lynn's apparent infatuation for someone :P. *winks at lynn* ahaha. just another stupid post from a stupid me again to keep my blog alive.

tmr, i'm going for a music festival called mars festival!!! why am i so happy? cos i'm gonna be chillin' with my friends in an atmosphere with music!! i will be:-
1. melting with ash in the acoustics section.
2. drooling with lynn in the HOT GUY BANDS section(if they have one)
3. rocking with see ann in the punk rock section
4. watching carolyn find her way in the crowd to where all of us are

and etc. anyway, need to sleep. still got accounting sac and esl creative writing sac tmr. nites everyone. will put up a tagboard soon when i finally GET LYNN TO TEACH ME HOW!!! if you want it quick, either rush her or teach me how by commenting. hope this post is not too long. god bless.

my eng essay XD

2006-07-24T18:46:00.000+10:00

just wanted to share my english essay and sorta keep this blog "alive". haha. hope you guys enjoy it.

Rrriiinnnnggg!! I woke up with a start. Ohmigosh, I’m late again!! I rushed to wear whatever I could find, washed up the best that I could with the little time I had, collected my books and ran out of my room. I did not bother to check if Jay was still around. I knew he had left earlier. It was an unspoken rule between the both of us; better one late than both. So, we never waited for the other.
Arriving late to my lecture had gained me a lot of unwanted attention. Eyes turned around to see my grand entrance. I mumbled a sorry and took a seat. My eyes began to scan the room and there sitting a few rows in front was her. She caught my eye from the time I entered Ravis College and since then I had been trying to catch hers. Sadly, a year had past and I still had not had a chance to talk to her. Day after day I tried but somehow, things never seemed to work out. There were the occasional “Hi, Adrian,”, “May I borrow your pen, Adrian?” or “Excuse me, Adrian” but nothing more than that. I had joined the piano ensemble just to meet her but she was always surrounded by her girlfriends. Sometimes I wondered why girls must move in packs. Did they know that it is intimidating for us guys to approach them? Most of the time, I felt that if I dated a girl, I would be dating her girlfriends as well. Anyway, to divert my attention back to the lecturer, I reminded myself that I had ensemble practice today. With that mentally noted, I concentrated on solving the calculus equation given by the lecturer.
Later that afternoon, after ensemble practice, the guys and I had planned to play soccer and because practice ran later than usual, I did not have much time head to the front of the college. I attempted to squeeze a greeting to her before I left but decided against it as her pack of friends was already surrounding her. By the time I had arrived at the front entrance, I was relieved that I was not the latest. We waited about ten minutes before the cab arrived and as soon as we saw it, we rushed towards it to get the back seat because it was known within the guy circle that whoever sits in front faced the risk of being molested by the cab driver if he was gay. As we ran and shove each other into the cab, I heard giggles and laughter from behind us. I turned to see that she and her friends were greatly amused. Embarrassment stung me. There was no doubt that they had seen out little act. “Hurry up and get in, Adrian. Or else we’ll be late. Don’t worry, we’ll ensure that you’re still pure,” called out Jay and the guys laughed. As my face turned red, I walked towards the front seat of the cab and just as I was about to enter the car, I heard her voice saying, “Have fun, Adrian.” My heart skipped a beat and I turned to her and replied, “Thanks. I sure will.” All the way to the soccer field, I was ecstatic, replaying our short conversation in my mind over and over.
The next day, I decided to start making a move. Plus, Valentine’s Day was only a week away and I wanted her to be my date for the Valentine dance. Dressed to impress, I walked to college early in the morning in hopes of catching her alone without her ever nosy group of bodyguards. I had heard that she arrives in college alone early in morning with a cup of coffee to enjoy some peaceful times alone. I was not surprised that she would seek such solitude when I saw the bunch of friends that she mixed with. I walked around the college for a while and there I found her sitting all alone under the hundred-years-old oak tree. I enjoyed the sight of her for a while before approaching her.
“Hey, Melody,” I greeted her.
“Hi, what are you doing in college so early? Aren’t you and Jay normally late?”
“I decided that I had enough grand entrances to last me a lifetime. Plus, being under an oak tree with a beautiful girl is a pretty good way to start my mornings.”
She blushed and there was silence in between us. I broke the silence by asking her how she found the ensemble practice yesterday. Yes, I know it was a bad way to begin a conversation but I had no idea what else to say. She told me that it was good and even complimented my playing. “Thanks, you play well too,” I replied and there was silence between us again. Then I said, “Look, I don’t really know how to do this but do you have a date for the dance next week?” She was surprised at my question and whispered, “No.” “Would you like to go to the dance with me?” I asked while staring at the grass. There was no reply and I was really afraid of being rejected but I mustered all the courage I could find and looked at her. For a moment, I got lost in her stunning brown eyes. Then I heard a reply.
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry but could you repeat that?”
“Yes, Adrian, I would love too.”
“Really? Because for a moment there I thought you were going to say no.”
She smiled and I could feel my heart stopped beating. We stayed and talked for a while more before heading to class. It took about five dates before I could ask her to be mine and the rest, as they say, is history.

ABANDONED

2006-07-18T21:43:00.000+10:00

well, been neglecting my blog for many reasons: no time, don't know what to write, don't know why i even write, etc. a friend once asked me why do i have a blog. i seriously have no idea. issit because i wanna try the blogging hype? some people tell me that they blog to let out what's in their hearts. so maybe it's time i reveal a bit of my heart.

my heart is one that is scarred
each scar has its story
a piece of my past

my heart is one that i protect
as it is still affected by the past
it is a one i hold dear
as one thing becomes clear
i wish not to injure my heart

A piece of my heart i give
to all that i have come to love
may you nurture and nourish it
please care for that precious piece of my heart

don't tell it promises you can't keep
or feign to always cherish it
cos it knows when it has been forgotten
and it pains to see you walk away

to all who call themselves my friends
may you learn to comprehend
and see the secrets hidden
as you come to know my heart a little more

Old Times at BSF

2006-07-01T18:34:00.000+10:00

hey! sorry guys. been abondoning my blog. went to sydney for a week cos the school choir was in a competition there and my sister was in the choir. go figure. it wasn't as much fun i'd expected it to be cos it kept raining. anyway, got lazy and swamped by homework which i have been doing since i came back from sydney and i'm still stuck on my stupid killer spesh maths application assignment. yes, yes, i know it's due before the hols but what can i do if i dunno how to do?

anyway, enough of that nonsense. was nostalgic about BSF(Bible Study Fellowship) when i read about it in Jess' blog. haha. i know you guys are thinking "oh no, another God blog." hey, it's not ok. nowhere close. i wasn't inspired to write about THAT. ahaha. just missed the times there.

as usual in BSF, i'm usually THE LATEST person to arrive. nyahaha. my nasty old habit. i would be rushing to the freaking class. sometimes, i see them heading to the hall while i'm heading to the class. i'll be like o_O!! should i follow or not? and then we have the singing. not long songs but just two and they are sung in a relatively faster than normal speed. ahaha. what do i do then? if i'm high (i usually am), i would be singing in all sorts of weird tones. low then high :P. accents. so basically i wasn't really singing *winks*. sometimes ppl would laugh with me (although i know they usuall laugh at me). other times, they join me. haha. i'm such a crowd stirrer.

we would be laughing and then i get the BSF teacher behind me. depending on who my teacher was for that semester. but i remember mr yun sometimes laughed along and then shut us up. haha.

and then, we get to the class part where we are usually given questions the week before. Most of us would have either not done it or just did it an hour before the study. haha. none of us EVER memorised the memory verses. they will always have to try to do on the spot memorisation. we usually passed questions and said nothing on all the hard, difficult, soul-searching questions and the teachers will AGAIN have to try to dig something out. sometimes when someone doesn't know the answer, we help him. haha. yes, we're a lot of helpful people.

homiletics(summary that we're suppose to do) was like a game. who can crap out the whole bible passage in 15 words. most of the time, it doesn't even makes sense. shows how ingenious all of us are XD.

i had to try to keep my eyes wide open. some ppl draw. some msg through hp. christine and i used to write "notes" in our notebook. our secret conversations. when she left for malacca, i lost my talking buddy. i was left to drawing. then everything changed when one by one, all of us dropped out. haha. only matthew was left with all the newbies who were TOTALLY INTO BSF! no offense to any of them ok.

you think we're bad? try listening to the adults outside. they're always laughing at something or other. i mean, is the bible really that amusing?

hot gossips and movies

2006-06-15T15:56:00.000+10:00

yay! my second post!! am really wanting to see how long i can keep this up :P. hope it'll be long. am still extremely new at this and had spent hours just to get the blog the way it looks. more improvement to come *grins*.

today has been extremely gainful. besides talking and trying not to fall asleep during classes, i've learnt a gossip today. it's really disgusting in a way but then again, when you know the story, you'll understand. it seriously wacky. i mean how inconsiderate can ppl be? so anyway, instead of ranting about it now, i shall tell you the story:

it was in bio today. bio was as boring as usual and a "surprisingly" lot of working in class. basically she didn't teach much. haha. this pissed nicole off and she was insulting mrs starkey as usual despite telling that we should stop doing that as her mother passed away. but yea, it was hilarious again. mun yee and selah made a surprising statement: nicole and i always quarrel about something and yup, it gets really animated :P. but this is not the highlight of bio class. it is when ling told me about her friend's story.

ok, just to give you readers a background of the story before i go into the juicy part. mel is a boarder at st patrick's, uk and shares a room with cameron. they stay in the cottage which is in the school's vicinity but far away from the main boarding house. therefore, not many staff there la. so it has been not-so-recently that cameron has been bringing her bf to the room and ahem la. if you don't get then too bad...you're just too innocent. so the first time right, it was at night and poor blind mel who didn't wear her contacts and was asleep, was woken up by a knock in the window. being blur and half awake, she opened the window thinking that it was just cm who came back late. then she realised that there were two ppl coming in and that included a guy. she decided not to bother and went back to sleep. cameron and mel(she sleeps on top) share a double bunk bed btw. it's wooden ok, i.e. no shaky bed.

in the middle of the night, she woke up and couldn't sleep cos she knew that cameron and her bf were having sex underneath and she didn't exactly feel comfortable about that.

me: so did she hear noises??
ling: of cos la. aiyo, it was so disgusting ok.
lynn: what noises?
ling: like ppl breathing heavily, panting and stuff la...it was so eeww
*me and lynn laugh*
me: poor gal! *still laughing* she would have been corrupted. haha. every night got hear porn :P.

and this went on twice actually. apparently, cameron got caught and ling's friend mel has to like go homestay with her relative. so sad hor?? sometimes, i really wonder why couples don't respect each other's body. i mean seriously...sex?? people are you nuts??!! maybe guys don't have much to lose if they lost their virginity but gals, come on, do you really think it won't matter?? all gals dream of a fairy tale relationship where everything seems to go fine and strong despite all the troubles and maybe sometime later in life, marriage. but somehow most of us now think that we can like short cut everything. just have sex like it doesn't matter. i tell you, it does. when you're courting and dating, the guys may go "we don't mind" (cos they won't mind having sex with you too!!)and stuff but later in life when you're married, they will be like "you slut!!! who else did you sleep with??!!" i've heard many stories such as these from my mom and it's scary. not to mention that us gals will be ones who feel betrayed and hurt cos the guys didn't keep to their promises of not minding...need i include that most guys aren't virgins when they're married??

so think things through...for me, i won't have sex. man, i'll practice abstinence so badly that every guy will hate me :P...kidding. i wanna have the fairy tale life...actually, i want more of the God-planned life. the one where i don't need to feel like i'm guilty or i'm dirty or i'm a slut or even i'm not good enough. cos if no guy wants me, i still have God. He loves me and i know that most people may not understand how much His love means to me. The things i've been through, the times i cried...man, it was like never ending...even now. yes, sometimes i really wish that i do not have to go through whatever...but one thing i've learnt from Psalms 46:10 (it's my favourite verse, btw) is this "Be still, and know that I am God.." Dude, how cool is that?! i'm the type of person who must always have a game plan...not that i'm the organised, plan everything with an organiser type of person. if you think that i'm that, let me clear that with you now - I'M NOT!! ask ashley, she knows :P. but i like to know where i'm going or what i'm heading...i like having goals. yes, i may not achieve all of them but i use them as a benchmark to see where i am and what i should do next. and when bad things happen, i usually cry for a while and then see what i should do and stick with it. i've never believed to cry a lot over things. it's always "Grace, stand up!! you can rise above this"..so you can imagine all the things i would do to "stand up" whether right or wrong.

so there you go...like i said in the last post, there will be God stuff. maybe not in the layout of "thought of the day". can't exactly follow templates like that :P. Not organised remember? haha. anyways, i've just came back from K-mart and rented seven movies from Video Ezy. they only cost EIGHT BUCKS!! ahahaha. all of them have romance, coincidentally inciding(is that how you spell it??) with the gossip. gonna have a heart-wrenching, feel like fainting weekend before i leave for sydney with mum and sis. ahaha...isn't that a good way to start my two short weeks of hols?? *winks*

god bless

Of Curry Lockers and Chem Titrations

2006-06-13T18:25:00.000+10:00

that title is in ashley ng quan ping's honour. It's the ONLY good thing that she's done today :P.

For all my fans-to-be, i'm extremely new at this blogging thing but then when i heard that people can actually be a celebrity blogger and that i have a great chance of being accepted by good unis, i was like " 0_O WAH, LIKE THAT ALSO CAN?? then i WANT!!" and here you have it. me crapping to my heart's content. wahahahaha.

actually, come to think about it...i don't believe it lor. i mean, lynn told me all those things. can i exactly trust her?? -_-" of cos not!! (muaks la...jk oni ok) but anyway, i figure that this would be a good way to rant out all that i wanna and say whatever i wanna. not to mention, a lot of ppl don't know me that well. so here's lil ol' me writing about the things i've been through and what i think. btw when i say lil, i mean lil. in my 5ft 4", there are a great many people taller than me. but i do quote amy: height is not a factor...XD in any case, she's shorter :P.

today, i was supposed to wake up early to go to school and fetch ashley. i made a point to remind myself to wake up early. but then again, why do i keep trusting my silly ol' brain over and over again? was suppose to wake up latest 7am but guess what? my internal alarm is messed up!! woke up at 7.10am...you think that's not late but honestly considering my slowness in getting ready for school, 7.10am is a good deal very late. btw, i have woken up at 7.30am before. wahaha...the funny part was that ash thought i'd forgotten about her. i should have just left her waiting :P. hah, i sound like i can drive but sadly, i'm a pathetic person who can't despite having turned eighteen on 1st June. it's my mum who does all the driving. i just navigate:P.

i shall skip all the boring teacher talking part to the curry locker part. my mum gave me a pack of curry paste for serene's mum vicky this morning. i was like" ok, will remember to pass it to her." i stuff it in my already full and heavy (in ashley's words, square) bag. brought it around in my bag. to think of my bag smelling of curry!!! wanted to pass to serene during accounting but honestly, imagine this: weird gal with big files pushing through the crowd with curry paste. and then a gal comes and accidentally pushes her and her curry paste falls. *slow motion part* nooooo...i bent down to pick up the paste but then my files fell and another gal stepped on it and there's curry on the floor...*end of imagination :)* so i'm thinking, "crazy ah?? no way. not that stupid yet." so went to accounting class without the curry paste and by the end of the day, i saw that THING in my locker!!! it's now left in my locker. oh btw, i never did imagine whatever i imagined and it is left in the locker. plus, curry smells nice ;).

during period 6 and 7, i wasted my life away for a chem titration competition. i mean, what was i thinking?? *hits hand on forehead* how stupid can i be? and the chem titration was like the worst ever that i've ever done. well, couldn't care less cos like it doesn't count for exam so who cared if i failed? anyway, here was the number of wrong events done by me:

1. went there late. with sandy. but it was basically my fault. i told her 2pm when it was earlier.

2. had no idea what i was doing. when i was asked to pour the NaOH(some unknown out-of-this-world substance that was a nuisance) into the burette (long thing with valve that makes the thing looks like it's peeing whenever you open the valve), i just poured it into a beaker without washing the beaker or the burette first. i mean like i'm a chem student. done titrations soooo many times but still can't remember. so wasted a whole lot of NaOH down the drain.

3. when titrating, i got a figure of 17.5ml. i thought ok la. but when i check with sha's result, i was like major 0_O?? it was like almost 9ml apart. yea, it was just today i've learnt that concordant results were supposed to be like what.. +/- 0.20 ml apart???!!! not to mention, after me, sandy tried and she got like 30+ ml. i was laughing my head off. guess what? other ppl had like concordant results of 0.05ml!!!

so yea, today's been boring but i hope this blog is as lynn puts it "worthy of ppl reading". i hope so la hah. if not then just over look this, ok *winks*. newbie ma. oh i will soon put up a thought of the day or song of the day thing. this is inspired by eve's blog. so yea, may sound really spiritual but i'm just figuring things out with God in my life. so bear with me, k *pushes your head up and down*. XD

god bless.