Tuesday, April 17, 2007
no uni today
is that meant to be a celebration or a time to spend with God reflecting and praying?
Was it just coincidence that the electric power of Monash gone haywire or did God just know that I need this time to really grief?
Why am I hurting so bad when nothing has happened? Why do I feel like I've lost someone when the people I love are still here?
Am I still holding on to the past? I've grieved properly, haven't I? Wasn't I supposed to be happy that he's gone before me to a better place? A place called heaven?
All I'm hoping is that I get to see the faces of the people I love one last time before they go back to Him who created them. I didn't get to see him. The last time was last year during Chinese New Year. Then he went back to God September last year. No, I wasn't there for the funeral. I wasn't there for the memorial service even. The day he was to be cremated was the day I was sitting for my stupid Methods practice exams. Did I look like I was in the mood? NO!! I was trying so hard not to breakdown and cry. I was resisting the temptation to walk out the exam hall and find somewhere to hide.
Yes, I take these things really hard. It's because as long as I consider you my friend, as long as I have memories with you, you are precious. She's just going for ballooning, not like for surgery for her cancer like before. Yet, I worry and am afraid. What if God takes her back home? What if I wouldn't get to her face for the last time on this earth?
Oh Lord, I know that heaven is the better place that You created. The one country where Your children truly belong. Forgive me for losing sight of all that You are. You are Sovereign, Lord of all. Forgive me for I've never been good with separation despite knowing that I'll see those who have gone home someday. Thank you for reminding me that each day that I live is a gift from You, that everyday I should learn to love you more and live by the Spirit. I will not waste the time You've given me but always in prayer, live according to Your will. I love you.
Lectures cancelled and I went home early yesterday. It was awesome. I was busy thinking how was I gonna get home in time to finish my BSF. I had to take a Hep B injection yesterday as well. Now I guess, it'll have to be another time.
There was an insurmountable joy within me yesterday. No idea why but people kept asking me why I was so hyper/dramatic/happier than happy. I don't know why there was such joy or why I felt that way. But I do know that whenever I do spend a good quality time with God each morning, the joy is there wherever I go for God is the source of my joy. Sometimes I rush through my morning quiet time. Actually, I quite often rush through my quiet time as I am no morning person.
Oh, I forgot to mention that there was something wrong with the Monash Clayton Campus' electricity substation. Apparently something went wrong and the whole Campus had no electricity. Two staff went in to see what's wrong and ended up in the hospital. Hope they are ok.
I had to have a tute in the fresh, cold, open air. Sat until I almost couldn't feel my ankles. It was ok I guess. Nothing to really complain about XD. However, like most people, I hope they get the thing fixed soon because I do not want to have replacement classes or an extended semester.That's all for the day!! Hope you have a good week back to uni. To all who are having mid-sems,
ALL THE BEST AND MAY GOD HELP YOU REMEMBER ALL THAT YOU'VE STUDIED!! God bless everyone!
Posted by grace :P at 1:16 pm