Thursday, June 05, 2008
i am not me
After embracing God's love for me, many things have opened up. I've now found a new accountability partner, Sarah :). I'm really excited. She's a new Christian who's really falling in love with Jesus everytime and it's gonna be great seeing things through her eyes.
When people mention dates with Jesus, it never really makes sense to me. Like how do you go on a date with someone you cannot see? To spend time with a person without words? And so God teaches me about silence. It is in the silence where He reveals Himself. Mother Teresa once said that she enjoys being with God. When people ask her what He says, she replied "nothing." And then they ask her what she says. She replied, "Nothing." It's being with Him, knowing He's there and enjoying His presence that counts.
Guess what? I'm beginning to understand that. Sometimes when I walk home from the bus stop, I think of Him. And suddenly it feels like He's right there, walking beside me. And we spend time just walking together. But this atmosphere of silence in which I spend time with Him is really hard to create. My mind flies everywhere. However, now that I've experienced a glimpse of it, I'm beginning to learn to be still. Perhaps that was what He meant when He spoke Psalms 46:10a to me - "Be still, and know that I am God..."
I still wonder at times how He could love me. I just sinned. Didn't mean to but the temptation came and I gave way. The next thing I know I feel that I'm revolting. Seriously. Lord Jesus I ask for Your forgiveness. I know You gave me warnings and a way out, yet I still fail to heed Your words. It is true that it's by Your grace that you let me come and talk to You. It's not that I'm worthy. I thank you Jesus for all the Love that You have shown to Me. You know all the times where I'm not the person I portray, not the person people see. Yet, You love me with all my flaws and failures. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the romance You offer me. I just want to ask again for Your forgiveness once again. Thank you, Jesus.
Posted by grace :P at 10:31 pm
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