Sunday, February 27, 2011
a little bit of symphony
One thing to celebrate is I'm back in Melbourne! It's a strange kind of independence that I treasure when I'm here. In Malaysia, I feel like I'll never be found should I get lost.
I always find it strange that each time I fly back to Melbourne, I've got to kind of put my life back in motion. It's almost like everything comes to a halt when I leave. So, at the moment I'm starting my life again. Trying to let people know that I'm back.
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It's now the end of April. I've finished one rotation and am on my next one. Had my first consultant crush. And certain things are coming to place.
Updates:
1) I've settled my elective! I'm now going to Kapsowar, Kenya with Africa Inland Mission (AIM). It may not be what I expected last year but I'm definitely no less excited to be there. I believe God will move greatly through me there and lives will be renewed in Christ, even mine. I have no idea what to expect. Some days, when I think about how dangerous it is to be travelling alone there and how lonely I might be, I'm a little uncertain as to whether I'll be alright. Then, I remember that God has called me there and so, as long as I'm in His will, by His protection, grace and love, I will be fine.
It's extremely hard to explain to people exactly why I'm going there. The truth is it's because that's where God wants. My passion for that place isn't terribly strong like Rosalie and her friends. I may not be able to get the rotations that I want. To top it off, I'm unsure what awaits me. But I do want to see how Jesus works in a real hospital as hospitals here seem to repel any talk about Jesus. People always believe that telling you about the Jesus I'm in love with means that I'm trying to convert you but it's ok if I talk about my new guitar that I'm in love with or this movie I just watched. I see no difference between the two. I guess, there is supernatural power whenever we, through the Holy Spirit, share about Jesus that other people sense. Perhaps that's why they don't wish to hear it.
2) I'm jobless! I have been trying to get a job tutoring and failing. for the nth time. Everyone rejects me for different reasons. I guess it's now time to get off my bum and apply for a work permit. Then maybe a casual job may come my way. Someone once asked me why I needed a job. Well, it's because I've got plans that require a lot of money and I have decided to not use my parents' money. I am the kind of person who doesn't like to solely rely on other people and I like to test my limits. I mean, if I have hands and feet, don't you think I could go out there and get a job? Plus, I would like to how far I could go to fund my own plans. I'm growing up :)
3) Running is my new thing. Well, sort of. I'm joining Mother's Day Run next week. Imagine me who can't even run 4k without panting and stopping, try to run 8k. It'll definitely be a challenge but I've been training. Have only done up to 6k with plenty of breaks. Hopefully by the end of this week, I'll be there, running the 8k smoothly.
4) I'm also currently applying for an intern position here and it's driving me crazy. I am subconsciously very worried that I actually won't get a job next year. How do I know? Well, I'm spending money like I have plenty and eating a lot. I've not done too much research on it. I know when the application dates are and when the Open Days are. I've kind of written a first draft for my resume but that's it. I should get off my bum and start doing something, shouldn't I?
5) There are days I feel extremely insecure. I'm always anticipating the worst. Maybe it's time to stop anticipating and live in the moment. I will change the things I can change and accept/move on from the things I can't. Life has more to offer than I realise.
7) Fasting through this period is a hard thing. Try going through TV withdrawal and you'll understand what I mean. I have limited myself to only watching movies. I have so much free time to do the things I need to but I would sit around and crave to watch TV. Lol, hopefully my new guitar and lots of prayer will help me through this.
It's a crazy one this year, and as we're coming to the middle of it, let's hope it makes more sense than it did in the beginning. Till next time, god bless.
Posted by grace :P at 10:46 pm